Saturday, July 17, 2010

Panther-Stalking

As I mentioned in the last post, my secret shame is that I ran out of books while at the week-long conference, and ended up reading terrible romance novels that I found in the bathroom of the rental cottage.  By popular demand, a book review!

 SILKEN SAVAGE: Tanya and her gal-pals get kidnapped by a bunch of Cheyenne brutes, who savagely molest, abuse and brand them as slaves. Tanya's captor is the awesomely named (and comparably progressive) A-Panther-Stalks, who wants to "gentle her" like a wild pony, so she will be his willing slave. Tanya is fine with that. She is also stone bitch who doesn't lift a finger to help her friends, or even seem to think about them at all, even though they are being raped and beaten half to death in the tipi next door. Guess she is too busy Panther-Stalking.

She becomes A-Panther-Stalks' wife/slave, and at a certain point, the clan leader "Kettle-Black" or something says that she has to do a series of tests to prove herself as a brave or... actually, I don't really know what happened at all, it just turned into gibberish.

Takeaway: Seems extremely easy to master the Cheyenne language and folkways, since Tanya the idiot (with Mane of Lioness) managed it in less than a week. Unclear who is the titular 'savage'.  Rating: Zero headdress-feathers.

8 comments:

  1. My takeaway from this is that I need to make sure I have an e-reader with me when attending weeklong conferences. Thanks for the tip!

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  2. If there was something about using clamshells to tweeze the hair off her legs I read this book a long time ago. If not, I read one just like it!

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  3. Paulette12:40 AM

    Oh Jenn! This looks like something I might have read in Korea where Harry Potter paperbacks cost 20 bucks.

    I had high quality YA reading material gathering dust while I tried to write. Next time solicit from the workshop's under-60 crowd. We'll share, and we promise not to stalk you :)

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  4. I can barely type. I'm stunned. I see so many of these type of books- didn't know they were this awful.

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  5. Wow. Wow. That just seems awesomely bad and reminds me why I load my bag up with far more books than I can possibly read in a month every time I leave the house.

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  6. Hilarious! We need more reviews like this...

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  7. I think M. Knyght Shyamalan just optioned this novel.. Views it as the perfect hyrbid of Ayn Rand and Kevin Costner.

    Really wants to explore the elements of "Native American-feline mysticism."

    Disney has promised him a small budget this time--only $120 million.

    Brad

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