SIX BY SONDHEIM for writers

The other day I watched the terrific documentary SIX BY SONDHEIM. (available streaming on HBO-Go, or on Amazon or iTunes.) It's part biography, part show-biz history, following Sondheim's career guided by six important songs in his life. It's excellent, and I was particularly struck by how many nuggets of wisdom I found, profound insights into not just Sondheim's creative process, but a creative life in general. Though he is writing musicals, obviously, I think that much of this is applicable to novelists as well. Just replace "put on a show" with "publish." You should watch the doccy yourself because I can't do it justice... but I can provide six things that I found worth remembering:


1) On "writing what you know":  "Part of the author is always in what he writes, and partly [it's] a work of imagination. It's like what Faulkner said about Observation, Imagination and Experience - you can do without one of them, but you can't do without two."

Sondheim was paraphrasing Faulkner, but yeah. This is good advice. You may not have lived something yourself, but if you have good observation and imagination skills, you can still bring it alive on the page.

2) On harsh reality: At 15, he showed Oscar Hammerstein something he'd written.... Oscar was nice about it, but Stephen said he wanted to get REAL feedback, just like he would rate it against something professional. (Young Stephen thought his own work was terrific, and was pretty sure he was about to be the first 15 year old with a Broadway show.)

Oscar said,"Oh well in that case, this is the worst thing I've ever read." Sounds pretty harsh, but Oscar then went on to show young Stephen point-by-point how his work was failing, and Stephen had to agree. Awkward! But a learning moment. You may not want to hear that your work isn't good enough - but if you are submitting to agents and editors for publication, they will expect your work to be on par with that of a professional.

And even excellent professionals get a LOT of stinging rejections!

3) On imitation: "One of the things he [Oscar] told me to do was not to imitate him. 'If you write what you feel it will come out true. If you write what I feel, it will come out false. Write for yourself and you'll be 90% ahead of everyone else.'"

4) On learning to write: "You can't learn in a classroom and you can't learn on paper. You can only learn by writing and doing. Writing and doing. A friend says 'write something, put it on. Write something, put it on.' -- well, you can't always put it on, but that's the only way to do it. That's how everyone who's ever been good got good."

5) On failure: "I experienced real failure when I did I Hear a Waltz... we thought, well, this'll be an easy job and we'll make a quick buck. Those are reasons never to write a musical.

It was a respectable show. It was not lambasted by the critics. It was politely received by critics, and politely received by audiences, and had no passion, and no blood, and no reason to be. And I learned from that, the only reason to write is from love. You must not write because you think it's going to be a hit or because it's expedient, or anything like that. It's so difficult to write, it's so difficult to put on a show, that if you have the privilege of being able to write it, write it out of passion. 

That's what failure taught me." 

6) PROTIP: "I work entirely with Blackwing pencils for a number of reasons. One is, it's very soft lead, and therefore wears down very quickly, so you can spend lots of time resharpening. Which is a lot easier and more fun than writing." ;-)

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How Does Your Garden (of words) Grow?

I have to preface this post by saying, I know nothing at all about gardening. I grew up in a city, with a little concrete patio that had some potted plants on it, which I dutifully forgot to water and killed every time my mom went out of town. Which was often. Then I lived in college dorms and apartments with no gardens or plants at all. So when I moved to the Hudson Valley, it was my first ever house with a backyard and a garden. The owners at the time paid a nice set of ladies to come and weed and take care of things out front. But now... now I own the house. And it is my garden to take care of. And gardening ladies are expensive.

So I - a total nature newbie - am now confronted for the first time ever with this PROFUSION of greenery that is mine to deal with. Most of the shady plants are doing fine on their own, but the sunny plants on one side of the house are at this point all taller than me, taller than the windows, quickly trying to consume the driveway and the house. It's chaos.

As I was outside today finally pruning it reminded me of what you writers go through in writing and especially revising your work.

First step: I put on my special pink gloves. I went outside with shears. And I looked at all the green madness. I really looked. It was pretty - VERY pretty - but also, to be honest, a hot mess. And how to fix it? I was overwhelmed at first.

The giant plants-that-I-don't-know-what-they-are were starting to encroach on the driveway. They are beautiful ... but my car needs to go there. So, though I wasn't sure what was OK to cut and what wasn't... I just had to go for it.  Cut. Cut. Cut. Oh wow - it's still beautiful - but now my car fits! And it all looks better actually!

That mass of green that is the prickly ancient giant miniature rose bush (giant bush, miniature roses) -- well, many of the roses are dead and can just be trimmed off. And in fact, it isn't just a rose bush. It has other plants winding around INSIDE of it, some of which are dragging poor Rosy's branches down. Some branches are clearly dead and are just weighing down the whole bush.

So I trimmed a few dead blooms off here and there. Fluffed some leaves. But no real progress until I TOOK A RISK. I had to decide, on purpose, to plunge my arms in. YES it scratched, but it was the only way to access the ivy and whatnot and cut it out of the bush, and really, though it stung to dive in like that, it was a thousand times faster and more effective than if I'd been dawdling around the outside parts for an hour. Then I had to take another risk and cut off pieces of the bush itself. I was nervous, because I didn't want to RUIN the bush - but they had to go. Not only dead branches, but branches that were alive, and even nice, but just too heavy.

And guess what? It is STILL a prickly ancient giant miniature rose bush. It is STILL sweet smelling and beautiful. But now it is actually much nicer looking, and much more likely to survive, because all the crazy stuff that was weighing it down is gone.

SO here are a few revision tips, culled from my first hour or so of gardening:

The only way to do it is to DO IT. This is how you prune the plants. You get suited up, put on the gloves, go outside with some shears, and start cutting. Peering at the plants from the porch, thinking about the plants, researching them online? None of those will actually prune the plants for you.

You will not succeed unless you take a risk. You WILL get scratched up. It WILL be a pain in the ass. Yes, it is hot and there are probably bugs out there. Oh well. If you don't work hard, you're probably doing it wrong. But it is immensely satisfying once it is done.

But how do I know what is a weed and what is a plant? My mom told me, "A weed is anything that is growing where you don't want it." Hm. But WHICH ONES?? Some of them are pretty! How do I know? "Just use your common sense and look. A weed is something that is choking out other plants."

Bonus tip for SECRET GARDEN fans:

Check for Wick. If a plant (or an idea!) seems dead, it might not be dead. Check and see if it is "wick." If there is any color there, clear the weeds around it. Give it some room to grow, and pat some fresh dirt around it, and give it some water, and some sunlight. See what happens.

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How NOT to write a series, OR, Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

You know the old saying.

It isn't just sound egg-maintenance theory. It also applies to many things in the writing life. Including writing & querying series.

Lots of unpublished writers query and say something like: "This is the first book in a series. Books 2 and 3 are complete, I am working on book 4 now!"

This makes me sigh. I read that and see a person who is stuck completely on one story, who is not ready to be flexible and diversify, learn and grow. Not to rain on your parade, but... what if Book 1 is actually fundamentally flawed and you are building a house of sequels on a shoddy foundation? What if it never finds a home? Then all the energy that you spent on sequels is wasted, when you could have been off finding more stories and inventing even more awesome worlds.

The other day a very nice Twitterer inquired during #AskAgent something like (paraphrasing): "I've had book one out on submission for some time... when should I start querying agents book 2?"

Not to be mean, really, but what's the point? Nobody can take on and sell JUST book 2 if it has to be a series. And nobody has picked up book 1. Sooo....

"Well, I'll just self-publish then!"

That's your call, and might be the right path to take. But if you do, don't expect to then query books 3 and 4 and nab an agent to be published traditionally, unless the first two books have been phenomenally successful.

Look, you're an unpublished writer who wants to find an agent for a series, trilogy, duology, sextet, or whatever? (Keep in mind I am ONLY talking about traditional publishing here) - This is what I'd love to see:

A strong book one that stands alone, but where there is series potential. (That means: No huge loose ends in the plot, but perhaps some generally unresolved big picture stuff. Strong, compelling characters that we want to follow.)

A synopsis for book two, and/or an overview of the "series arc" -- that is to say, ideas for future adventures of these people and a vague idea of what might happen in those books. One to a few pages - no need to go overboard. (If you've got really great ideas for Book 2 and just can't wait to put them on paper, go ahead - but no need to show them to an agent at this point.)

Then, to be blunt, you should MOVE ON and write something entirely different for your next project.

Why? Well, if book one is strong enough to support a series and I want to take it on, I can sell it plus probably future books without your having to write all of them in advance.

If book one is NOT strong enough to support a series, it doesn't matter how many books you write -- if we can't sell book one, the other books are dead unless they are able to totally stand alone. And you've wasted years of your life writing them when you could have been pursuing even more amazing projects.

Some series or trilogies are sold as such. But others are sold as a one-book or two-book deal, and the publisher will want to wait to see how the book is received by readers before committing to further books. At the outset, your agent won't be able to guarantee a multi-book offer, it just doesn't always work out that way.

Not everything HAS to be a series, and you don't get a contract for a series just because you feel like it... for a publisher to keep putting books out, there has to be an audience who has demonstrated a keenness for buying them.

Some books take off and become hugely popular with the reading public, and, I promise you, if that is the case, your publisher WILL WANT more books set in the world you've created. But the fact is... some books will probably be smaller, or may not get the attention you hope. This is reality.

The goal is, ideally, to get you on a path where you write amazing stories and invent wonderful characters as a career. When you are looking for an agent, you want to maximize the chances for one of them to fall in love with your work. Once you get an agent, they'll want to maximize the number of books you sell and stories you tell. So why lock yourself into one world?

Get that story-quiver full of good, solid, arrows - - so if one misses the mark, you'll have others you are excited to string.

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So, What If Your Book Doesn't Sell?

There's a piece in The Millions today that got under my skin a bit: "Shutting the Drawer: What Happens When a Book Doesn't Sell?"

First of all, I don't think the author of this essay needs to have to have the funeral service for her book quite yet. Nine months is a long-ish time, but it isn't actually a LONG time. Particularly if there are warm responses from editors - why not tweak the book and try another round, for crying out loud? Sheesh. But whatever, that is between her and her agent.

This goes out to the rest of you.

Thing is... and I am not sure there is a gentle way to say this, but... just because you want to be published, doesn't mean you automatically get to be. Not even if you are super smart. Not even if you are super smart and SPECIAL. Not even if you have lots of published friends or an MFA or a great agent or whatever.

Maybe your book hasn't sold because you just haven't found the right editor yet. Or MAYBE your book hasn't sold because it just isn't good enough. So REVISE, or write another, better, book.

Sometimes books don't sell. Sometimes they take a long time to sell. I've sold books after YEARS of trying. A recent agency book was sold after 4 years of submission and 45+ editor rejections, and now has starred reviews and is going places. It happens, it really does.

Sometimes you have to revise them before they sell... or revise them again. Sometimes you have to take a break and come back later with fresh eyes. Sometimes you have to shelve it and then cannibalize that book for parts. Sometimes you have to shelve it and move on. Sometimes you have to shelve it and move on... more than once.

I've said it before: first books are very often like first pancakes. Sort of a mess. A shame to waste food, but if they are not in servable condition, you have to throw them away. Or better yet, eat them yourself while you cook better ones.

The good news is, those ugly books aren't a waste. You'll be a better writer because you wrote them. The only way to learn to be a writer is to WRITE. The only way to learn to write novels is to write some novels. That doesn't mean they should all be published - but it also doesn't mean that they weren't worth writing. I have never heard of somebody becoming a WORSE writer with practice.

If the book that doesn't sell is the book that taught you how to be a better writer, it was worth spending time, blood, sweat & tears on.

Now keep going!

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On Boredom

A lot of YA and MG slush pile offerings open with something like this - a totally made up example:

"There was nothing to do in this dumb subdivision. Every house looked the same. Cookie cutter. The heat was oppressive. I idly tossed a crumpled up piece of paper at the trash can and missed. Sweat made my t-shirt stick to my skin. I fell back onto  my pillow and stared at the popcorn ceiling. Nothing to do today. Nothing to do all summer long. This was the most boring place in the world."

This is a personal pet peeve of mine. When I was a kid I did a lot of whining about how I was bored, and my wise grandmother would say, “bored people are boring.” And I'd get insulted, because I certainly did not think of myself as boring. But guess what? It also made me pipe down and find something to amuse myself with. (Particularly when she combined that with the follow-up, "If you're so bored, I'll give you something to do." And a meaningful look at dustrags.)

The point is, your main character has to be DOING something. They have to be an active, non-boring person. There has to be a reason you are telling their story, for pity's sake. Don't make hanging around with them a drag. Because truly, pages of characters hanging around complaining about how there is nothing to do is just not compelling. Your readers - kids - already KNOW there is nothing to do in the suburbs half the time – that is why they spent $16 bucks on a book.

Don’t make them turn to drugs instead.

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Wordcount Dracula

Q: My middle grade novel is complete at 250,000 words, and have five sequels planned which will each be approximately the same length. I know that this is considered "long" but I really can't cut anything, it is all integral to the story. What do you think?

Hold that thought, I am tying a noose.

In all seriousness... while this actually happens to be a fake question, I get queries for books this long all the time. And really? The idea of reading 1.5 million words, or even 250k words, makes me feel dead inside. Your story does not need to be this long, I promise you. (If it DOES need to be this long, it is not a middle grade, or it should be divided into 20 books, not 6.)

YES, if you are hugely successful with your first book, your publisher will want lots more books from you. YES, the more successful your books, the longer they will get to be without anyone batting an eyelash (see: Harry Potter series). But no publisher will let you publish a debut novel that needs to be a lengthy series in order to make sense, or a debut children's novel of 200,000+ words. This is the reality.

I am on the record as saying I don't really care about word counts unless they are so off-the wall out of bounds that it is absurd. And it is true. But there are generally accepted norms for this sort of thing that you should be aware of. I've pulled some new and classic examples in each fiction category so you can see how they vary.

PICTURE BOOK:  0-1,300 words. Sweet spot: 300-550*
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak: 336
Mostly Monsterly by Tammi Sauer: 348
Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor: 418
Ladybug Girl by David Soman: 721
* Note: I really advise clients to keep their picture books under 600 words - 800 at the very top. Picture books in the 1,000+ word range are generally folktales and fairy tales... and are not exactly in fashion. Unless you are a really gifted folklorist, I would not go down this road. There are very few such authors in the country. They know who they are.

EARLY READER: 100-2,500 words. Sweet spot: (depends on level)*
Elephant and Piggie: Can I Play Too? by Mo Willems: 199
On the Go with Pirate Pete and Pirate Joe by AE Cannon: 1,180
Dodsworth in London by Tim Egan: 1,293
Little Bear by Else Minarik: 1,630
Frog and Toad All Year by Arnold Lobel: 1,727
*Note: Because these books are meant for brand-new readers, these books are often marked according to level - the higher the level, the more sophisticated/longer the text can be. Publishers may have their own specific guidelines about these leveled readers, even requiring a certain number of syllables per page for readability. 

CHAPTER BOOK: 4,000-13,000 words. Sweet spot: 6,000-10,000
Magic Tree House Lions at Lunchtime by Mary Pope Osborne: 5,313
Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus by Barbara Park: 6,570
My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett: 7,682
Judy Moody was in a Mood by Megan McDonald: 11,049 

REALISTIC MIDDLE GRADE: 25,000-75,000 words. Sweet spot: 40,000-65,000
Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban: 29,052
Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech: 44,907 

We Dream of Space, Erin Entrada Kelly: 48,000
Brilliant Fall of Gianna Z by Kate Messner: 48,454 

Goodbye Stranger by Rebecca Stead: 53,669

Front Desk by Kelly Yang: 64,000

Merci Suarez Changes Gears by Meg Medina: 70,000

FANTASY MIDDLE GRADE: 35,000-90,000 words. Sweet spot: 45,000-75,000
Juliet Dove, Queen of Love by Bruce Coville: 43,912
White Mountains by John Christopher: 44,763
Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander: 46,926
Midnight for Charlie Bone by Jenny Nimmo: 65,006
Harry Potter & the Sorceror's Stone by JK Rowling: 77,508 

REALISTIC YA: 40,000-90,000 words*. Sweet spot: 45,000-75,000
Jumping Off Swings by Jo Knowles: 40,480
Great Call of China by Cynthea Liu: 52,532
Flash Burnout by LK Madigan: 67,186 
Looking for Alaska by John Green: 69,023
Harmonic Feedback by Tara Kelly: 71,935 

FANTASY YA: 50,000 words to 150,000 words**. Sweet Spot: 65,000-85,000 words.
Magic Under Glass by Jackie Dolamore: 55,787
Tithe by Holly Black: 66,069 
Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr: 73,426
Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray: 95,605
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare: 130,949  
Eragon by Christopher Paolini: 157,000

* This is especially true for debuts. Once you are famous, all bets are off.

* * It is really not advisable to go over 100,000 words as a debut author, unless you already have a following. Consider yourself warned - 100k is often the magic number that makes editors and agents curse, cry, and possibly delete. Not that you CAN'T be published over 100k, it definitely happens for select super-awesome YA fantasy in particular... just that it really will be yet another hurdle for you.

In every category, there are also a few random outliers, like Sarah, Plain and Tall (a middle grade at 9,000 words) or This Is All: The Pillow Book of Cordelia Kenn (a YA at 250,000) ... but for the purposes of this exercise, let's assume that you aren't Patricia MacLachlan or Aidan Chambers.  

ETA: Remember, this list is by no means exhaustive and should not be considered law. Don't get too freaked out about it... just find the average word count for books similar to your own, and try to be somewhere vaguely in the ballpark.

So how can you find these numbers yourself? Well, while the Accelerated Reader program is lame in a lot of ways, this is a very handy tool: To find pretty much any kids / YA word count, you can use the AR BookFinder. (Click 'librarian' or 'teacher' and then search for books like yours - click on the titles to get all kinds of info about them, including wordcount!)

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