SIX BY SONDHEIM for writers

The other day I watched the terrific documentary SIX BY SONDHEIM. (available streaming on HBO-Go, or on Amazon or iTunes.) It's part biography, part show-biz history, following Sondheim's career guided by six important songs in his life. It's excellent, and I was particularly struck by how many nuggets of wisdom I found, profound insights into not just Sondheim's creative process, but a creative life in general. Though he is writing musicals, obviously, I think that much of this is applicable to novelists as well. Just replace "put on a show" with "publish." You should watch the doccy yourself because I can't do it justice... but I can provide six things that I found worth remembering:


1) On "writing what you know":  "Part of the author is always in what he writes, and partly [it's] a work of imagination. It's like what Faulkner said about Observation, Imagination and Experience - you can do without one of them, but you can't do without two."

Sondheim was paraphrasing Faulkner, but yeah. This is good advice. You may not have lived something yourself, but if you have good observation and imagination skills, you can still bring it alive on the page.

2) On harsh reality: At 15, he showed Oscar Hammerstein something he'd written.... Oscar was nice about it, but Stephen said he wanted to get REAL feedback, just like he would rate it against something professional. (Young Stephen thought his own work was terrific, and was pretty sure he was about to be the first 15 year old with a Broadway show.)

Oscar said,"Oh well in that case, this is the worst thing I've ever read." Sounds pretty harsh, but Oscar then went on to show young Stephen point-by-point how his work was failing, and Stephen had to agree. Awkward! But a learning moment. You may not want to hear that your work isn't good enough - but if you are submitting to agents and editors for publication, they will expect your work to be on par with that of a professional.

And even excellent professionals get a LOT of stinging rejections!

3) On imitation: "One of the things he [Oscar] told me to do was not to imitate him. 'If you write what you feel it will come out true. If you write what I feel, it will come out false. Write for yourself and you'll be 90% ahead of everyone else.'"

4) On learning to write: "You can't learn in a classroom and you can't learn on paper. You can only learn by writing and doing. Writing and doing. A friend says 'write something, put it on. Write something, put it on.' -- well, you can't always put it on, but that's the only way to do it. That's how everyone who's ever been good got good."

5) On failure: "I experienced real failure when I did I Hear a Waltz... we thought, well, this'll be an easy job and we'll make a quick buck. Those are reasons never to write a musical.

It was a respectable show. It was not lambasted by the critics. It was politely received by critics, and politely received by audiences, and had no passion, and no blood, and no reason to be. And I learned from that, the only reason to write is from love. You must not write because you think it's going to be a hit or because it's expedient, or anything like that. It's so difficult to write, it's so difficult to put on a show, that if you have the privilege of being able to write it, write it out of passion. 

That's what failure taught me." 

6) PROTIP: "I work entirely with Blackwing pencils for a number of reasons. One is, it's very soft lead, and therefore wears down very quickly, so you can spend lots of time resharpening. Which is a lot easier and more fun than writing." ;-)

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ProTips for Published Authors pt 2: THE BOOKSTORE EVENT

Desperate in Vermont asks: What do most authors DO at bookstore events? Do they simply read from their work? Or do they tell stories about the writing of it? What do CUSTOMERS like them to do? What do BOOKSELLERS like them to do/not do? What makes one author event more successful than another? Are there any no-no's I should be aware of?

Oh sweetheart. I've got bad news: There is no formula for a successful event.

But the good news is: If you have a good attitude about it, your event is highly unlikely to be a failure.

I've been a bookseller for a long (LONG) time. For many years I was an events coordinator. I had events that were insanely, unexpectedly fabulous - and events where somebody wound up crying in the fetal position. And everything in between. I know I've told these stories before, but I have to repeat them.

Once at a store in San Francisco, on a night when the Giants were in the playoffs AND it was the storm of the century (a storm so bad that the heavy glass & steel back door of the store LITERALLY FLEW OFF ITS HINGES)... we had an event for a fairly little-known cookbook author. Not a soul showed up, but the author and her assistant, and the three booksellers. We had a great conversation and ate cookies the author brought. She was absolutely charming and gracious and understanding, signed books, told jokes. And on the back of that event, all three booksellers were so delighted by her that they sold that stack of books...and the next...and the next... and the book became a bestseller for the store, for years. Yay!

Another time, I held an event for a bigshot author. 150+ people showed up, on a gorgeous day when they could have been doing ANYTHING. She was angry that so few were there, and she SAID so. She was insufferable and rude about the whole thing, even though people had come early and waited hours to see her. She complained within earshot of the crowd. When she left, we boxed up the books we hadn't sold and returned them. Feh.

Get the point? Yeah. So now. In no particular order. Tips for before, during & after the event.

Tip #1: DON'T BE A JERK. Smile. Introduce yourself to everyone on staff. Be kind. Even if nobody shows up - believe me, the booksellers are as much or more mortified when that happens than you are. A thank-you note to the store events coordinator after the event is not required, but is nice, particularly if they did a great job & you connected with them in some way. Remember, you have a whole career ahead of you... and booksellers tend to have long memories. When they think of you, they should remember your sweetness!

Tip #2: INVITE PEOPLE! For pity's sake, drag your friends, family, facebook friends, old school chums and whoever else isn't nailed down along with you. The bookstore can advertise all day long, but let's face it, unless you are well-known, the people most likely to show up are people that you can kick in the shins later if they don't. If not a lot of people show, you'll be glad of the company - if the event turns out to be packed with strangers, you'll be happy to see some familiar faces in the crowd. IF you send an invite out to people and you get a lot of RSVPs, you should definitely let the bookstore know a week ahead of time so they are sure to have extra books on hand.

Also, before the event, be sure to advertise the event yourself as much as possible, and always link to the bookstore holding the event on your website or blog. And after the event, if you have a blog, mention what a great time you had and put a picture! [ETA: It's probably a good idea to carry a little notebook to write down bookstore people's names, or any fun incidents that happened at the store, because you might be too overwhelmed to remember later. If you have a mailing list, it is cool to ask attendees at the event to give you their email addys if they want to be on it - but don't add people without their knowing.]

Tip #3: Don't oversaturate your market. If you have a couple of different bookstores in your immediate area, don't book events with both of them for the same title in the same month. You'll be cannibalizing your own audience - even your most hardcore fans and friends are unlikely to come to the same event twice. I suggest doing a "launch party" at one store, and perhaps offering to be on a panel event or just sign stock at the other store, at a later date.

3b: If you are not a well known author, the adage is, do one awesome launch party in the town where you live, and another in your hometown or wherever your MOTHER lives. Sounds silly, but many moms have secret ways of influencing people to show up at events. You could also do one wherever you went to college, if you know a lot of people in that area. But don't worry your pretty little head about booking events all over the free world in towns where you don't know anyone unless your publisher is sending you - that is a lot of energy and time that you could be spending on writing another book.

Tip #4: Keep it light, keep it fun, keep it brief. As for what you actually do during the signing? I like it when authors chat a bit about what brought them to write the book, maybe tell a couple of anecdotes on the making-of, read a little, take Q&A and sign.

For most people, reading very short excerpts works best. I prefer a few well-chosen sections - maybe a couple pages each - with commentary about the book in between. VERY few people can read lengthy passages straight through without being boring as sh*t. Plus you are trying to get people to BUY THE BOOK - don't read the whole dang thing aloud! (And don't be afraid to end your section on a cliffhanger!) [ETA: For the actual signing, stores should have good pens at the ready, but if you need special pens, don't forget to bring them yourself - and test them first to be sure they don't bleed through the page.]

Tip #5: Create your own questions. During Q&A, sometimes the audience clams up. I'd definitely create a list of 5 or so questions that you can "fall back on" -- so if nobody asks anything you can say something like "you know a lot of people ask ________" -- and tell a little story to illustrate the answer... this buys you some time until somebody actually asks something. If nobody asks ANYTHING (unlikely), you'll just go through your five or so stories and then wrap it up.

Tip #6: Visual aids raise interest level. Kids especially love to see visual aids. I know one prolific author who has ALL his jackets taped together and unfurls them like a scroll and has kids hold it up - it stretches across the room! People think it is cool if you show off all the book jackets from around the world or early versions of book jackets that didn't make it, or a funny story you wrote as a kid, or a writing notebook with a thousand cross-outs in it, or your own embarrassing childhood photo, the menu from the restaurant that inspired the book, or whatever. People love "behind the scenes" stuff and "making of" stuff, and kids love knowing that fancy published authors were just kids like them once upon a time.

6.b - Caveat about technology! USE YOUR IMAGINATION in your presentation, sure. But be aware that if you are relying on powerpoint, most bookstores won't have a screen or projector... so. Don't rely on powerpoint, is what I'm saying. But if you do, be prepared to bring your own equipment. (If you know that you have a tiny voice and it is likely to be a big crowd, tell the store ahead of time - they might well have a microphone, but they'll probably have to set it up.)

Tip #7: Bribe the audience. It's fun if you have giveaways - like maybe bookmarks or postcards to hand people as they are getting their books signed (or for kids who can't get a book but would like an autograph). Sometimes authors bring little prizes (stickers, pins, a little candies, something like that) for the people that ask the first questions or buy a book -- or something a bit more special (galley of a new book, bookstore gift card, t-shirt, burned CD of a "playlist" for the book, etc) as a raffle or for the person who came from the farthest. At my store we always do giveaways for the teen events, but most bookstores probably don't, so you can bring stuff yourself and make it happen if you want to.

Tip #8: Feed the audience. Personally, I love having little refreshments at events. The bookstore will sometimes provide refreshments, sometimes not. Sometimes they aren't allowed. By all means ask. If you want to bring special treats, CLEAR IT WITH THE BOOKSTORE FIRST so they are aware and have a place to put the stuff - and be sure that you provide napkins, a platter, cups, a wine key, or whatever you will need. Don't bring anything that requires cutlery or is messy - no popcorn or red wine.

For regular signings, I think just a plate of cookies or something is sufficient and nice. For launch parties, it is fun to go a little overboard and have a nice spread, and to have things that are "book specific" - like, Japanese treats for a book set in Japan, or food that is mentioned in the book. But whatever you do, keep the type of refreshment appropriate for the time of day and audience - animal crackers and (light-colored) juice works for little kids. Cookies or mini-cupcakes and lemonade works for older kids. White wine, sparkling water, grapes and crackers & cheese if you are expecting mostly adults.

Tip #9: APPRECIATE YOUR BOOKSTORE! This should go without saying, but kind words about the bookstore you are in is always appreciated. Buy a book or two yourself while you're in there. AND PLEASE, do not direct people to buy the book from a competitor like A**zon while you are IN THE BOOKSTORE having an event with piles of the book in front of you. Yes, this has actually happened. It is absolutely shocking, and makes the booksellers Instantly Hate You Forever. Common sense, no?

Tip #10: VITAL for traditionally published authors: Keep your publicist in the loop. Don't go off half-cocked and book a bunch of events without telling anyone. You really don't want to work at cross-purposes to your publisher. Some publicists will really want to be the point person for all events - others are more hands-off - but even if they don't do anything and it is something you are totally booking on your own, you REALLY need to tell them what is going on & where you'll be at least. This is for your own benefit, so they don't think you are a loose cannon, and because the bookstore will probably need to be in touch with them for various reasons (ordering the book, getting hi-res author photos, or getting co-op money for advertising, for example!) - and boy-oh-boy is it awkward when the publisher has no clue what the author is doing.

Any other questions for me, or tips for our anxious writer-friend?

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ProTips for Published Authors pt 1: WEBSITE TIPS

UPDATED 5/9/12: The lovely Laura L. Sullivan has changed her website so it now features the info I highlighted in this post. So now the example doesn't work -- but you CAN now use her page as an example of what you SHOULD do! I'm leaving the post as-is because I think the info is still important, but the links won't show you what they used to now. Carry on. (And buy LADIES IN WAITING!) ;)

--

Time to put on my bookseller hat and give all you adorable published authors a couple of quick but IMPORTANT tips.

I'm going to pick on a certain blog/website, by author Laura L. Sullivan (LADIES IN WAITING, Harcourt 2012) today. Note, and edited for clarification: I don't know Laura personally, she isn't a client or anything. I'm only picking on Laura because I happened to notice it this morning, and it is something I notice ALL THE TIME on various author websites. There is nothing inherently "bad" about Laura's website, just a couple small points I noticed with my booksellers eye. On the whole, it's a good, simple and clean presentation, with a funny and informative blog. Her book looks awesome and I can't wait to read it. And... that's where the problem comes in.

Take a look at the page she's set up for her brand new YA book. It's neat, clean, has a nice description and a good image. It looks right up my alley, in fact! But... notice anything missing? I bet booksellers will...

I don't know who the publisher is, or what the ISBN is, or how to order it other than from A**zon, where I don't shop.

My first question when somebody tells me about a new book is almost always "who is the publisher?" (My second question, if I am sitting at my desk, is "what's the ISBN")
If I know the publisher, I know which sales rep to beg for a copy. I know how I'll be ordering it for the store. (If I have the ISBN I can order it right then and there and be sure I am getting the right book!) I'll likely have a good idea of the type of reader the book will appeal to, to be honest, because so many imprints really do have a "brand" -- a book about bawdy restoration teenage girls is probably going to be a lot different as a Simon Pulse book than as an FSG book. It just IS. I might order it either way, but I'd like an idea of what I am getting into. I know that the general public, average readers, don't know or care much about who publishes what. But booksellers, particularly buyers, and librarians care - they care a lot.

When you don't put the publisher name anywhere on your website, it makes it seem like the book is self-published. There isn't anything wrong with being self-published... but frankly, it makes it a lot more difficult for booksellers and librarians to get hold of your book, and a lot less likely that I'd pursue vigorously for author events and the like. Yes, I could click around a bit and find the pub info on A**zon (which is what I did in this case) -- but if I was on the run, or only had a second to look, I simply wouldn't bother clicking - I'd say, Oh, well, I guess I'll look it up again later, and then promptly forget.

A**zon doesn't hold author events, or host book fairs, or contribute to the community. It is really important to a lot of people (not just booksellers - but YES, BOOKSELLERS!) that you not just link to A**zon. I would strongly encourage adding links to B&N and IndieBound at least, plus it would be EXTRA nice if you also linked to whatever your personal indie bookstore is, and if you don't have one, someplace like Powells or Books of Wonder.

I was a buyer and events coordinator for a major bookstore for many years. I am still a bookseller in fact, and I still do author events! So please believe me when I tell you:

You are losing sales when you don't have publisher information immediately visible - and you are accidentally offending people when you only link to A**zon. Your website is for readers - but it isn't JUST for readers, it is also for people who get books into readers' hands. And it is easy-peasy to help them help you!

I like to see the TITLE (pub, date), as I did in the opening to this blog post, the first time a book is mentioned on a website (like, on the "about me" page for example). You don't need to KEEP mentioning it, but mentioning it once is nice. You can take the year out once it isn't "new" anymore, if you like.

And then this info would be great to see set in its own paragraph after the description on the book page:

TITLE
by Author
Young Adult
Publisher, Year
ISBN 13:
Audio ISBN: (if applicable)

Available from [IndieBound], [B&N], [A**zon], and your local independent bookstore.

AND NOW, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna go get my hands on a copy of LADIES IN WAITING!

[ETA: Again, this is a UNIVERSAL problem, I notice it ALL the time - and I picked Laura's website because I think it is otherwise REALLY GOOD. And the book looks REALLY GOOD. This is not a ding against her personally - I hope a thousand people click on her website and think the book looks great too!]

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Cheers to the Blue Board

Every time I go to a writers conference, I give the same advice to newbie kids book authors:

Read read read. Have patience. Don't follow trends. Join SCBWI if you are able. And FIND VERLA KAY!


Don't know what that last one means?

Verla Kay is a writer. You can find her books in libraries and bookstores near you. But she is also an extremely generous kid's book maven who started and maintains (with the help of a handful of hard-working moderators) simply THE BEST resource for children's book writers on the web. It's a message board extraordinaire, filled to bursting with extremely knowledgeable writers, illustrators, and yes, agents and editors and kids book experts of all types and at all levels who are game for dishing, advice, and general camaraderie. We in the know call it the Blue Board, or Verla's, or "verlakay."

I really shouldn't even be telling you this because it'll probably cause an influx to the board but... you're all nice folks, yes? And you are really serious about being children's book writers? And you're all very respectful of one another? Because that is what flies at Verla's.

What doesn't fly? Trolling. Spam. Flaming. Political or religious convos. You'll certainly be able to get writing advice, or a chance to share your query, or publishing insider info. You'll be able to discover average agent response times, or conduct an informal poll about tween slang. You may get a little boost of inspiration when you're feeling low, or even indulge in erudite discourse about literary themes... but you'll never get into a flame war, because it simply is not allowed to happen there. Personally, I find that extremely refreshing, and so for me (and for lots of similar-minded people) Verla's is a bit of a sanctuary.

I've been on the boards since March 2007 -- well before I became an agent (though I was already interning for an agency). I've checked in pretty much every day during those five years, except the rare days when I had no computer access. In fact, though I probably shouldn't admit to this, according to the stats, I've been logged in for a whopping 59 days. Yikes! (But that's because some days I stay logged in all day on one screen and check in a bunch and read a million topics... other days I just scan quickly to see if anything is new. But I always look. And there is invariably something there every day that I find interesting, or that brings a smile.)

There are many reasons to LOVE THE BLUEBOARD... not the least of which, for me, is that I have a ton of clients at least partly because of it. We MIGHT have met another way, if the Blue Boards didn't exist... but it would have been tougher. LK Madigan, Kate Messner, Daniel Pinkwater, Jackie Dolamore, Tara Kelly, to name a few... these amazing and brilliant talents were among my first batch of authors to sign, and while I met some of them on LiveJournal too back in the day, I know I can trace much of our early relationship right back to Verla Kay's message board or chat room.

Not because I was creepily hanging waiting to snag people based on their posted query letters, or anything like that... it isn't like those "modeling agencies" that hang out at the mall looking for tweens!  Joining the Blue Boards won't get you "discovered" -- it just isn't like that. Rather, it's a place to be genuinely engaged with awesome writers, have great conversations with them, and develop mutual respect and trust.

I'd say that the OVERWHELMING majority of the queries I get from Verla Kay members are in the top 10% of all the queries I read. Verla Kay members are also 90% more likely to follow submission guidelines. Were those  totally made up statistics? YES, but they made the point. Verla Kay members are not chumps off the street - they are more likely to be serious business, and I, for one, take them seriously. (Which is why, if you are a BlueBoarder, you should definitely mention it when you query me!)

So I said I have tons of clients because of the Blue Board... but the truth is, I also have loads of friends because of it, both in real life, and "virtually." Even when I was in Italy last week, I met BlueBoarders, and it was like we were old pals even though we had never met one another before. It was pretty awesome, not gonna lie!

OK, OK, I GET IT JENNIFER, YOU LIKE THE BLUE BOARD.

I do. And I think you might, too. Join us, won't you?

And don't forget, the more thoughtfully and constructively you post, the more of the message board you see... So be nice, and join the conversations! :-)

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The Fine Art of Zipping It, or XYZ PDQ

Look, I keep my private life private, but let's just put it this way: I am a city girl. I have lots of different kinds of friends, with lots of different kinds of private lives, and some of them are quite expressive about them. I am friends with people who are dancers and actors and drag queens and sex therapists and racy comedians and wild-eyed-probably-high college students, and all sorts of things in between. The content that they post on social networks reflects that, and that's just great. 

I'm also friends with lots and lots of writers. Some of them are semi-insane ranting penmonkeys, or sassy romance or YA authors. Sometimes they post things that make me blush a bit... and THAT'S fine too. But writers or not, what do all these people have in common? The tone of their social media content reflects the tone of their work.

Now of course they might be MORE conservative in social media than they are in their work, but they are rarely more salacious. In other words... a YA novelist may choose to tweet about breakfast, or she may choose to tweet about pop culture or politics or any other dang thing that one talks about in public... but she probably won't start tweeting naked pics.  An burlesque dancer might tweet about all of those things including burlesque-pics... but she probably won't start tweeting links to snuff films.  

Personally, my blog is pretty much exactly how I would talk to my boss, or an editor, or a client, or my mom, mild cursing and all... nobody is going to get a big shock or be disturbed if they read the blog and then meet me, because the tone of my social media reflects the tone of my work.

So consider this a public service announcement.

If you are an author of children's books, could you please not post raunchy comments and explicit posts on your public social media sites?  Come on now. This isn't your private living room. You've followed me, and maybe I like the looks of your book, or maybe I've already read and liked it. You've followed a host of other booksellers and librarians and teachers, editors and agents, readers and potential fans.  Why did you follow those folks? So they'd get to know you and your book, right? So they'd help you promote it, bring it into their library, read it at storytime, put it in a kids hand? So that maybe they might want to buy or read (or rep! or publish!) the next one? Of course.

So you know very well that you are talking to not just your friends, but to a group of people who work with kids and/or kids books all day long. Do you seriously think I, or any one of those other professional children's book people, will want to bring you in for an event, or tell the marketing team about you, or otherwise promote your picture book when we know you are making comments about the looks of 16 year old "jailbait" on youtube, publicly bemoaning your erectile dysfunction on facebook, instagramming pictures of your rum-soaked bachelorette party, posting unfunny pedophilia jokes on your blog, or talking about MILFS at a school event on Twitter? Do you imagine a PARENT would see all this and give your book to their KID? Are you nuts? 

Seriously. If you want a locked twitter or a private facebook for just you and your wild hockey team pals or fellow members of your Bad Medicine cover band or Mile High Ladies Fan Club or whatever, go for it, and god bless. 

But if you have a public account on which you are promoting your work for children, and you are friending/following readers, teachers, librarians and publishing professionals, use your dang noodle. And not THAT noodle, mister.

"But Jennifer, that is CENSORSHIP!"  -- nope, I think it's actually just common sense. "But we're all ADULTS! Little kids aren't reading my facebook posts!"  -- sure, that's true. So if you're truly passionate about a topic, go for it. I would just suggest that if it is content that could not be printed in a newspaper, you're probably on the wrong track. I think of public social media like a cocktail party with colleagues and your boss... not a bachelor party with drinking buddies and a hooker. 

What do you guys think? Am I hopelessly conservative and out of touch?  I don't think so, but I am interested in other points of view.   

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Wordcount Dracula

Q: My middle grade novel is complete at 250,000 words, and have five sequels planned which will each be approximately the same length. I know that this is considered "long" but I really can't cut anything, it is all integral to the story. What do you think?

Hold that thought, I am tying a noose.

In all seriousness... while this actually happens to be a fake question, I get queries for books this long all the time. And really? The idea of reading 1.5 million words, or even 250k words, makes me feel dead inside. Your story does not need to be this long, I promise you. (If it DOES need to be this long, it is not a middle grade, or it should be divided into 20 books, not 6.)

YES, if you are hugely successful with your first book, your publisher will want lots more books from you. YES, the more successful your books, the longer they will get to be without anyone batting an eyelash (see: Harry Potter series). But no publisher will let you publish a debut novel that needs to be a lengthy series in order to make sense, or a debut children's novel of 200,000+ words. This is the reality.

I am on the record as saying I don't really care about word counts unless they are so off-the wall out of bounds that it is absurd. And it is true. But there are generally accepted norms for this sort of thing that you should be aware of. I've pulled some new and classic examples in each fiction category so you can see how they vary.

PICTURE BOOK:  0-1,300 words. Sweet spot: 300-550*
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak: 336
Mostly Monsterly by Tammi Sauer: 348
Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor: 418
Ladybug Girl by David Soman: 721
* Note: I really advise clients to keep their picture books under 600 words - 800 at the very top. Picture books in the 1,000+ word range are generally folktales and fairy tales... and are not exactly in fashion. Unless you are a really gifted folklorist, I would not go down this road. There are very few such authors in the country. They know who they are.

EARLY READER: 100-2,500 words. Sweet spot: (depends on level)*
Elephant and Piggie: Can I Play Too? by Mo Willems: 199
On the Go with Pirate Pete and Pirate Joe by AE Cannon: 1,180
Dodsworth in London by Tim Egan: 1,293
Little Bear by Else Minarik: 1,630
Frog and Toad All Year by Arnold Lobel: 1,727
*Note: Because these books are meant for brand-new readers, these books are often marked according to level - the higher the level, the more sophisticated/longer the text can be. Publishers may have their own specific guidelines about these leveled readers, even requiring a certain number of syllables per page for readability. 

CHAPTER BOOK: 4,000-13,000 words. Sweet spot: 6,000-10,000
Magic Tree House Lions at Lunchtime by Mary Pope Osborne: 5,313
Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus by Barbara Park: 6,570
My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett: 7,682
Judy Moody was in a Mood by Megan McDonald: 11,049 

REALISTIC MIDDLE GRADE: 25,000-75,000 words. Sweet spot: 40,000-65,000
Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban: 29,052
Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech: 44,907 

We Dream of Space, Erin Entrada Kelly: 48,000
Brilliant Fall of Gianna Z by Kate Messner: 48,454 

Goodbye Stranger by Rebecca Stead: 53,669

Front Desk by Kelly Yang: 64,000

Merci Suarez Changes Gears by Meg Medina: 70,000

FANTASY MIDDLE GRADE: 35,000-90,000 words. Sweet spot: 45,000-75,000
Juliet Dove, Queen of Love by Bruce Coville: 43,912
White Mountains by John Christopher: 44,763
Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander: 46,926
Midnight for Charlie Bone by Jenny Nimmo: 65,006
Harry Potter & the Sorceror's Stone by JK Rowling: 77,508 

REALISTIC YA: 40,000-90,000 words*. Sweet spot: 45,000-75,000
Jumping Off Swings by Jo Knowles: 40,480
Great Call of China by Cynthea Liu: 52,532
Flash Burnout by LK Madigan: 67,186 
Looking for Alaska by John Green: 69,023
Harmonic Feedback by Tara Kelly: 71,935 

FANTASY YA: 50,000 words to 150,000 words**. Sweet Spot: 65,000-85,000 words.
Magic Under Glass by Jackie Dolamore: 55,787
Tithe by Holly Black: 66,069 
Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr: 73,426
Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray: 95,605
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare: 130,949  
Eragon by Christopher Paolini: 157,000

* This is especially true for debuts. Once you are famous, all bets are off.

* * It is really not advisable to go over 100,000 words as a debut author, unless you already have a following. Consider yourself warned - 100k is often the magic number that makes editors and agents curse, cry, and possibly delete. Not that you CAN'T be published over 100k, it definitely happens for select super-awesome YA fantasy in particular... just that it really will be yet another hurdle for you.

In every category, there are also a few random outliers, like Sarah, Plain and Tall (a middle grade at 9,000 words) or This Is All: The Pillow Book of Cordelia Kenn (a YA at 250,000) ... but for the purposes of this exercise, let's assume that you aren't Patricia MacLachlan or Aidan Chambers.  

ETA: Remember, this list is by no means exhaustive and should not be considered law. Don't get too freaked out about it... just find the average word count for books similar to your own, and try to be somewhere vaguely in the ballpark.

So how can you find these numbers yourself? Well, while the Accelerated Reader program is lame in a lot of ways, this is a very handy tool: To find pretty much any kids / YA word count, you can use the AR BookFinder. (Click 'librarian' or 'teacher' and then search for books like yours - click on the titles to get all kinds of info about them, including wordcount!)

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No Fighting, No Biting

In case you have been snoozing in a sunny hammock for a week (in which case, may I say a hearty grrr to you), you've probably noticed rumblings about the supposed "YA Mafia." I am totally not going to get into it here, as it has been pretty well discussed and dissected by everyone everywhere, and the topic is done as far as I'm concerned.  YA Highway has a great roundup in case you missed any of the kerfuffle and are still interested.

One sort of side-tangent that has been mentioned by a few folks is the rumor that AN AGENT WON'T TAKE YOU ON IF YOU PUBLICLY HATE THEIR CLIENTS WORK.  Am I missing something? This doesn't seem like a threat, it seems like a very obvious and non-scandalous fact to me.

But the reaction I'm reading seems to be that such agents are obviously short-sighted, crazy, "in the pay of the YA Mafia", idiots, etc etc. 

Uhh...

I'm extremely passionate about any book I rep. I LOVE IT.

Besides the author themselves, I was probably the first person to be a total champion for the book. I've read it many times, sometimes over the course of years. I might have helped edit it, or at least thought about it hard, possibly through multiple drafts. In some way, maybe a big way or maybe a small, I helped that book be what it is. I am quite proud of them; each book really means a great deal to me.

If you love my books too, we might have very similar taste. The chances are good that if you are an excellent writer, with taste similar to mine, we might be a very good fit.

If you love some but are ambivalent about others, or like a couple but are "meh" about some, or even thought some were fine but privately disliked a couple, hey, that's cool, not everyone can like everything, everyone has their own opinion, that's what makes the world go round. (Well that and like, science.)

But if you totally hate a book of mine, like seriously detest, and have gone out of your way to slam it publicly...why would you even want me as an agent?

Your agent is your partner, hopefully for many years and through many successes (and yes, often failures as well.) You will be talking to them quite a lot. You have to be able to trust that they understand and "get you."

Your agent also needs to trust that his or her clients are relatively stable, happy, and not going to turn on each other or start getting into online (or real life!) monkey knife fights with one another. Drama creates a hostile work environment for all and can escalate to toxic levels quickly, which results in a loss of productivity, which results in a loss of money. Feh. Not for me, thanks. I would rather have fun, sell lots of books, and make money.  Wouldn't you?

You will also more than likely be in situations where you are in a group of your fellow-clients, out at a dinner, at a conference, or a school visit, or on a retreat. These are your colleagues, again, hopefully for many years. If you totally hate their work... ugh, awkward!  Why would you possibly want to knit your future together with people you hold in contempt?

Basically, if you loathe the books I represent, we clearly have very different taste. That isn't bad or good -- it's just a fact. Pick an agent who seems to like the same kind of stuff you do. Obvious, right?



*ETA: I am not suggesting that people should not blog, or be honest, or censor themselves, or anything of the kind.  I have book bloggers as clients.  Go forth and blog!  I am just saying, you put out into the world what you want to get back.  You can't say you HATE something, but then turn around and want to be just like that thing. 

Like, I like gold, and I like lemon yellow, and I like orange, but I hate certain shades of the color yellow (to wit: Goldenrod). Seriously. Worst. Color. Ever. I've said it on my blog, and I will say it to anyone who asks. I'd say it to Yellow's face. I am not allowed to be surprised if Yellow doesn't hire me as its spokesperson.

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