All About the Offer Etiquette (And How to get a Fast Pass!)

You're querying, and you get an offer. NOW WHAT?

GOOD IDEA:  If you get an offer of representation, and it's an agent you would not be sad to work with*, you should absolutely let the other agents who have the full or partial** know, to see if they want to read quickly and maybe hop on board the Offer Train. You might phrase it something like: "Thanks so much for your interest in AWESOME MANUSCRIPT! I've had an offer of representation, and I've told the offering agent*** that I need a week**** to get my ducks in a row. So if you are also interested, could you please let me know by [a specific date a week or so from now]?"

PROBABLE RESULT:  This will always get me to take a look at the ms if I haven't already, or to read faster if I'm already reading. However, it will also have me reading toward NO. In other words, unless I absolutely flippin LOVE this book, I will pass rather than get into a beauty contest over it. I can't make somebody Revise and Resubmit if they already have offers, after all! The good news is, you can safely assume that anyone who DOES end up entering the fray at this point really is keenly interested in the book.

* BUT WHAT IF I DON'T WANT THE FIRST AGENT?  IF on the off-chance you query somebody, they offer, and then when you speak to them you realize that you don't share a vision for the book at all and you really would be sad to work with them -- I STRONGLY SUGGEST you simply and graciously decline their offer but DO NOT let the other agents know and make them rush. You are more likely to get a thorough read and a fair shot if the agents aren't being rushed.

** BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ONLY HAVE QUERIES?  Say it's the same situation as above, but you also have a bunch of just-queries out there who haven't had time to even possibly request a full -- by all means, feel free to reach out to them as well and see if they'd like to see more. Something like: "I know you might not have even seen this query yet, but I wanted to reach out to you because I've had an offer of representation. If this query seems like something you'd be interested in, I can give you a week with the full. Otherwise, no worries, I understand you might not want to rush!

Again, I will probably glance at the query and decide in a split second if it seems worth my time to pursue. Usually I will step aside, but sometimes, rarely, I'll decide to get the full and then it is the same deal as above. Happy to read, reading fast, but reading toward No.

*** BUT WHAT IF THEY ASK WHO THE FIRST AGENT IS? Well then, you tell them, if you want to. It's not a trick question. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- I ask for three reasons: 1) I'm curious/nosy. 2) I'm interested in who my competition is -- I'm friends with a lot of agents, and if you've also queried a colleague and I honestly think they'll be better for you, I'd probably stand aside (or else offer myself but say something kind like "you really can't make a bad choice here" while inwardly seething at my frenemy. JUST KIDDING. Or am I?) and 3) I want to make sure it's not a schmagent or scamster. I like writers and I don't like people who dupe them!

**** BUT IS A WEEK ENOUGH TIME??  You can keep the first agent on the string for a week, even week and a half, no problem, totally normal. Two weeks, OK, if there's a major holiday or BEA or something involved, but they'll start to get a little antsy. Anything longer than that -- or if you have a "firm deadline" then extend it -- and they'll very likely feel like you are just out there using them as bait to fish for "better" offers. That's an ugly feeling. After all, they did everything right - they read quickly and had an offer for you with no fuss or muss -- why are they getting treated like a chump?

I've gotten an "I have another offer of rep, please let me know if you're interested" email at all kinds of inconvenient times: While on Hawaiian vacation. At an SCBWI conference. At the Bologna Book Fair. During Christmas break. Guess what? In all those cases, I was able to read and come to a decision within the given time. It's not rocket surgery. Believe me -- if these other agents really want to work with you and your book, they can figure it out in under two weeks.

TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD IDEA:

LIE

I recently got a query from somebody. An hour later, I got a note saying, basically, "I have an offer of representation, but I really want to work with YOU! Can you read immediately?" AN HOUR? Well that's extremely odd, and a glance at the query told me it would have been a pass for me in any case, so I wrote back something like, "This is not a great fit for me, so I'll stand aside, but congrats on the super-speedy offer! Wow!"

I then immediately told a colleague on gchat about the odd exchange -- not naming names or anything, just "Hey, this really weird thing happened at work today."  She looked through her inbox and found the exact same situation, with the same hour-later update, from another day. We told another colleague via email. She found the same query, same update, but with a few key words changed, from the week before. Say what?! That went out to an agent list-serv. Within a half hour, we'd found twenty or so different agents who had had the virtually the same query from five different "aliases," each of whom "had an offer" an hour later and wanted a quick response. All of us passed. Some of us had asked the person "who made the offer?" and the response was nebulous.

WHAT THE. Is somebody telling people this is how to query? Is it a maddening new micro-trend, or just one person with a lot of email accounts trying to be clever? Either way, STOP IT. And YES, we talk to each other.

Yeah I know. I shouldn't really have to tell a bunch of grown-ass adults that LYING IS A NO-NO, and a bad way to start a relationship that is meant to be based on trust, but. Apparently somebody out there is giving the verrrrry bad advice that writers should try and game agents. I could give you a laundry list of reasons this is a super bad idea, but I am pretty sure the perpetrators of this piece of dubious "wisdom" will never read this, and all of YOU are smart enough to put it together on your own.

Now carry on, and may your offers of representation be plentiful!  :-)

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Pour with Confidence

ONE DAY, in my early 20's, I was visiting a friend who worked in a pub. It was mid-day - there were a few customers eating sandwiches and having beers, but no other employees. Suddenly, her phone rang. It was a family emergency - she had to leave! She looked around - realized there was nobody to cover her. She tossed me the keys - showed me how to ring the register - and left me to cover the rest of her shift. Well.

This was a beautiful day in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Bars there don't just stand empty - soon enough some tourists came in, and some regulars - a couple of people I kinda knew, but mostly strangers. I'd never worked in a bar or a restaurant, but there I was, suddenly in charge - so what could I do? I had been to theatre school. . . so I acted like a bartender. I chatted. I poured beer. I mixed drinks. The thing is - mostly people ask for either beer, or for things with two ingredients - Jack and Coke. Gin and Tonic. Easy peasy! If something came up I didn't know, I'd turn my back for a minute and cheat with the Mr Boston's book.

When a tap ran out, I called that one "out of order." When the ice ran low, I filled a bucket. When the lemons ran low, I chopped up some more. When somebody asked about food, I scurried back to the kitchen to tell the (surprised, but not easily ruffled) cook.

You've heard the phrase "fake it til you make it" -- well, that applies here. Nobody KNEW I had no clue what I was doing. So I pretended I DID know what I was doing. Not only did I pretend I knew what I was doing - I pretended I was GOOD at what I was doing. And guess what? NOBODY FIGURED IT OUT.

They gave me a job. Somewhere along the way, I actually did learn not only what I was doing, but also, how to be pretty good at it. Soon enough, I was training new bartenders. And I taught them my trick: POUR WITH CONFIDENCE. 

The biggest mistake that most brand-new, totally un-trained bartenders make is . . . they are hesitant. They touch the bottles like they are about to break, and pour like they are pouring into a dainty dolly cup at a children's tea party. When they do that, customers totally pick up on it, even if it is subconsciously. When customers feel like they aren't in good hands, they get skittish. A hesitant or weak bartender will get fewer or lower tips, and they'll certainly have less fun on the job.

So even if you ARE new, pretend like you know what you're doing. Stand up straight. Look customers in the eye and smile. Actively listen to what they are asking for. Grasp the bottle firmly, and pour like you mean it. Give them what they want with a minimum of fluster and a bit of flourish.

I hear what you're asking. "OK well, thanks for the trip down memory lane, weirdo, but what does this have to do with ME?" Well, my little chickadees, the same principle applies to approaching agents.

If you were a bartender, you probably wouldn't introduce yourself to a new patron by crumpling up an old dishrag and throwing it at them, or by creeping up to them and bursting into tears. Those would be BAD INTRODUCTIONS. So. Begin as you mean to go on. When you are approaching an agent - DON'T say "I don't really know how to write a query" or "I don't know how to be a writer" or "I'm not really a writer" or anything of the kind. I get this all the time. Daily. But I mean - hello, this query letter is all I know about you.

If you treat the query letter like a professional introduction that it is, I'll accept it. If you tell me you're a writer, I'll believe you. If you tell me you're "bad at queries" or "not really a writer" or "a clueless newb". . . well, I'll believe that. Is that really what you want me to believe?

Obviously there is such a thing as going overboard. If you say "this book will make your dreams come true!" or "I'm the second coming and a rock star rolled into one!" or "you'll be making a huge mistake if you pass THIS up" or similar . . . well that's just being a big-headed jerk-slash-crazyperson.

Don't be over the top -- but DO be confident and professional, even if you don't exactly FEEL those things. If you can do the wordy equivalent of standing up straight, looking the agent directly in the eyes, smiling, and giving them what they're asking for with a minimum of fluster and a bit of flourish. . . well, you may or may not get an agent this time, but you will both project and get respect.

Pour with confidence and get those tips, babies!

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On Establishing a Good Line of Credit with Agents

Sometimes people say "YOU CAN'T GET AN AGENT UNLESS YOU KNOW SOMEBODY!" or "YOU CAN'T GET AN AGENT UNLESS YOU ARE PUBLISHED!" - but we all know both of these are myths.

Newbies with no publication credits get agents (and book deals) all the time. But they aren't REALLY newbies of course... they might be unknown, so far, but they've been working on their craft for years. They are good writers. And, I'd venture to say, they've also been mindful of the agents' time and tried to put their best, most polished work out there, and been sure to follow guidelines so as not to sour good will or burn any bridges.

Let's say for each finished manuscript you want to query, you are given a "chit" of sorts. This chit gives you access to x-amount of an agent's bandwidth/time/patience, provided the agent is taking queries.

Since agents are generally benevolent creatures who really want to help writers, they are happy to accept the chit. However, since agents don't know you from Adam and you don't have "good credit" yet, this chit is for, at most, three minutes worth of time. (If you've been referred or you do have other work, the credit line is likely to be a bit longer - but everyone gets credit). Since you have so little time, you'll definitely want to be sure to have followed directions and submitted a really stellar piece of writing!

If the agent is simply not interested in the book, you'll get your same chit back. Better luck next time, no harm done, try again later with a new manuscript.

If the agent likes the book, they will go ahead and give you more credit on that chit. Depending on how much they like the work, you might get a few hours or even a day of credit.

If they end up liking the book but they don't sign it up, you'll get the chit back, likely WITH the extra credit included. Go ahead and use it again next time. Yay!

If the agent loves the book and you become a client, you get a bag full of chits back. You can use them to ask lots of questions, and your agent will likely encourage you to do so, but do BE AWARE: Middle of the night panicked phone calls at home for no good reason WILL cost more than reasonable questions asked by email in the light of day. That being said, the longer your agent knows you, the more you work together, and the more sane you are in general, the bigger credit line you will get (so when you DO have a legit cause for a panicked phone call, don't worry, you'll get heard!)

BUT.

If your manuscript is riddled with errors, you have clearly never read the submission guidelines, or your work seems like a monkey might have typed it... you might not get your chit back. You can rebuild credit, but it is going to take a while, and you're going to have to submit something different in truly stellar shape next time.

If everything is OK but you pull a weird stunt like re-sending multiple slightly revised versions, or they request the full and you send it but then snatch the manuscript away from them as they're reading it, or they ask for revisions and you say you're on board but then nothing is actually changed... well. Again, you've cashed in your chit. It will take a while to get that line of credit back. It can be done, but it isn't going to happen overnight.

If you reveal yourself to be a class-A jerk by doing something like responding to a civil form rejection (or frankly ANY kind of rejection) with vitriol or threats - you cashed in your chit for good. In fact, you set your chit on fire. No more credit for you ever. (But what do you care, right? You have to know you are burning bridges when you send an email like that.)

Make sense?

PLEASE NOTE: THERE AREN'T REALLY QUERY CHITS. (But man, wouldn't life be easier if there were?)

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ProTips for Published Authors pt 2: THE BOOKSTORE EVENT

Desperate in Vermont asks: What do most authors DO at bookstore events? Do they simply read from their work? Or do they tell stories about the writing of it? What do CUSTOMERS like them to do? What do BOOKSELLERS like them to do/not do? What makes one author event more successful than another? Are there any no-no's I should be aware of?

Oh sweetheart. I've got bad news: There is no formula for a successful event.

But the good news is: If you have a good attitude about it, your event is highly unlikely to be a failure.

I've been a bookseller for a long (LONG) time. For many years I was an events coordinator. I had events that were insanely, unexpectedly fabulous - and events where somebody wound up crying in the fetal position. And everything in between. I know I've told these stories before, but I have to repeat them.

Once at a store in San Francisco, on a night when the Giants were in the playoffs AND it was the storm of the century (a storm so bad that the heavy glass & steel back door of the store LITERALLY FLEW OFF ITS HINGES)... we had an event for a fairly little-known cookbook author. Not a soul showed up, but the author and her assistant, and the three booksellers. We had a great conversation and ate cookies the author brought. She was absolutely charming and gracious and understanding, signed books, told jokes. And on the back of that event, all three booksellers were so delighted by her that they sold that stack of books...and the next...and the next... and the book became a bestseller for the store, for years. Yay!

Another time, I held an event for a bigshot author. 150+ people showed up, on a gorgeous day when they could have been doing ANYTHING. She was angry that so few were there, and she SAID so. She was insufferable and rude about the whole thing, even though people had come early and waited hours to see her. She complained within earshot of the crowd. When she left, we boxed up the books we hadn't sold and returned them. Feh.

Get the point? Yeah. So now. In no particular order. Tips for before, during & after the event.

Tip #1: DON'T BE A JERK. Smile. Introduce yourself to everyone on staff. Be kind. Even if nobody shows up - believe me, the booksellers are as much or more mortified when that happens than you are. A thank-you note to the store events coordinator after the event is not required, but is nice, particularly if they did a great job & you connected with them in some way. Remember, you have a whole career ahead of you... and booksellers tend to have long memories. When they think of you, they should remember your sweetness!

Tip #2: INVITE PEOPLE! For pity's sake, drag your friends, family, facebook friends, old school chums and whoever else isn't nailed down along with you. The bookstore can advertise all day long, but let's face it, unless you are well-known, the people most likely to show up are people that you can kick in the shins later if they don't. If not a lot of people show, you'll be glad of the company - if the event turns out to be packed with strangers, you'll be happy to see some familiar faces in the crowd. IF you send an invite out to people and you get a lot of RSVPs, you should definitely let the bookstore know a week ahead of time so they are sure to have extra books on hand.

Also, before the event, be sure to advertise the event yourself as much as possible, and always link to the bookstore holding the event on your website or blog. And after the event, if you have a blog, mention what a great time you had and put a picture! [ETA: It's probably a good idea to carry a little notebook to write down bookstore people's names, or any fun incidents that happened at the store, because you might be too overwhelmed to remember later. If you have a mailing list, it is cool to ask attendees at the event to give you their email addys if they want to be on it - but don't add people without their knowing.]

Tip #3: Don't oversaturate your market. If you have a couple of different bookstores in your immediate area, don't book events with both of them for the same title in the same month. You'll be cannibalizing your own audience - even your most hardcore fans and friends are unlikely to come to the same event twice. I suggest doing a "launch party" at one store, and perhaps offering to be on a panel event or just sign stock at the other store, at a later date.

3b: If you are not a well known author, the adage is, do one awesome launch party in the town where you live, and another in your hometown or wherever your MOTHER lives. Sounds silly, but many moms have secret ways of influencing people to show up at events. You could also do one wherever you went to college, if you know a lot of people in that area. But don't worry your pretty little head about booking events all over the free world in towns where you don't know anyone unless your publisher is sending you - that is a lot of energy and time that you could be spending on writing another book.

Tip #4: Keep it light, keep it fun, keep it brief. As for what you actually do during the signing? I like it when authors chat a bit about what brought them to write the book, maybe tell a couple of anecdotes on the making-of, read a little, take Q&A and sign.

For most people, reading very short excerpts works best. I prefer a few well-chosen sections - maybe a couple pages each - with commentary about the book in between. VERY few people can read lengthy passages straight through without being boring as sh*t. Plus you are trying to get people to BUY THE BOOK - don't read the whole dang thing aloud! (And don't be afraid to end your section on a cliffhanger!) [ETA: For the actual signing, stores should have good pens at the ready, but if you need special pens, don't forget to bring them yourself - and test them first to be sure they don't bleed through the page.]

Tip #5: Create your own questions. During Q&A, sometimes the audience clams up. I'd definitely create a list of 5 or so questions that you can "fall back on" -- so if nobody asks anything you can say something like "you know a lot of people ask ________" -- and tell a little story to illustrate the answer... this buys you some time until somebody actually asks something. If nobody asks ANYTHING (unlikely), you'll just go through your five or so stories and then wrap it up.

Tip #6: Visual aids raise interest level. Kids especially love to see visual aids. I know one prolific author who has ALL his jackets taped together and unfurls them like a scroll and has kids hold it up - it stretches across the room! People think it is cool if you show off all the book jackets from around the world or early versions of book jackets that didn't make it, or a funny story you wrote as a kid, or a writing notebook with a thousand cross-outs in it, or your own embarrassing childhood photo, the menu from the restaurant that inspired the book, or whatever. People love "behind the scenes" stuff and "making of" stuff, and kids love knowing that fancy published authors were just kids like them once upon a time.

6.b - Caveat about technology! USE YOUR IMAGINATION in your presentation, sure. But be aware that if you are relying on powerpoint, most bookstores won't have a screen or projector... so. Don't rely on powerpoint, is what I'm saying. But if you do, be prepared to bring your own equipment. (If you know that you have a tiny voice and it is likely to be a big crowd, tell the store ahead of time - they might well have a microphone, but they'll probably have to set it up.)

Tip #7: Bribe the audience. It's fun if you have giveaways - like maybe bookmarks or postcards to hand people as they are getting their books signed (or for kids who can't get a book but would like an autograph). Sometimes authors bring little prizes (stickers, pins, a little candies, something like that) for the people that ask the first questions or buy a book -- or something a bit more special (galley of a new book, bookstore gift card, t-shirt, burned CD of a "playlist" for the book, etc) as a raffle or for the person who came from the farthest. At my store we always do giveaways for the teen events, but most bookstores probably don't, so you can bring stuff yourself and make it happen if you want to.

Tip #8: Feed the audience. Personally, I love having little refreshments at events. The bookstore will sometimes provide refreshments, sometimes not. Sometimes they aren't allowed. By all means ask. If you want to bring special treats, CLEAR IT WITH THE BOOKSTORE FIRST so they are aware and have a place to put the stuff - and be sure that you provide napkins, a platter, cups, a wine key, or whatever you will need. Don't bring anything that requires cutlery or is messy - no popcorn or red wine.

For regular signings, I think just a plate of cookies or something is sufficient and nice. For launch parties, it is fun to go a little overboard and have a nice spread, and to have things that are "book specific" - like, Japanese treats for a book set in Japan, or food that is mentioned in the book. But whatever you do, keep the type of refreshment appropriate for the time of day and audience - animal crackers and (light-colored) juice works for little kids. Cookies or mini-cupcakes and lemonade works for older kids. White wine, sparkling water, grapes and crackers & cheese if you are expecting mostly adults.

Tip #9: APPRECIATE YOUR BOOKSTORE! This should go without saying, but kind words about the bookstore you are in is always appreciated. Buy a book or two yourself while you're in there. AND PLEASE, do not direct people to buy the book from a competitor like A**zon while you are IN THE BOOKSTORE having an event with piles of the book in front of you. Yes, this has actually happened. It is absolutely shocking, and makes the booksellers Instantly Hate You Forever. Common sense, no?

Tip #10: VITAL for traditionally published authors: Keep your publicist in the loop. Don't go off half-cocked and book a bunch of events without telling anyone. You really don't want to work at cross-purposes to your publisher. Some publicists will really want to be the point person for all events - others are more hands-off - but even if they don't do anything and it is something you are totally booking on your own, you REALLY need to tell them what is going on & where you'll be at least. This is for your own benefit, so they don't think you are a loose cannon, and because the bookstore will probably need to be in touch with them for various reasons (ordering the book, getting hi-res author photos, or getting co-op money for advertising, for example!) - and boy-oh-boy is it awkward when the publisher has no clue what the author is doing.

Any other questions for me, or tips for our anxious writer-friend?

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The Fine Art of Zipping It, or XYZ PDQ

Look, I keep my private life private, but let's just put it this way: I am a city girl. I have lots of different kinds of friends, with lots of different kinds of private lives, and some of them are quite expressive about them. I am friends with people who are dancers and actors and drag queens and sex therapists and racy comedians and wild-eyed-probably-high college students, and all sorts of things in between. The content that they post on social networks reflects that, and that's just great. 

I'm also friends with lots and lots of writers. Some of them are semi-insane ranting penmonkeys, or sassy romance or YA authors. Sometimes they post things that make me blush a bit... and THAT'S fine too. But writers or not, what do all these people have in common? The tone of their social media content reflects the tone of their work.

Now of course they might be MORE conservative in social media than they are in their work, but they are rarely more salacious. In other words... a YA novelist may choose to tweet about breakfast, or she may choose to tweet about pop culture or politics or any other dang thing that one talks about in public... but she probably won't start tweeting naked pics.  An burlesque dancer might tweet about all of those things including burlesque-pics... but she probably won't start tweeting links to snuff films.  

Personally, my blog is pretty much exactly how I would talk to my boss, or an editor, or a client, or my mom, mild cursing and all... nobody is going to get a big shock or be disturbed if they read the blog and then meet me, because the tone of my social media reflects the tone of my work.

So consider this a public service announcement.

If you are an author of children's books, could you please not post raunchy comments and explicit posts on your public social media sites?  Come on now. This isn't your private living room. You've followed me, and maybe I like the looks of your book, or maybe I've already read and liked it. You've followed a host of other booksellers and librarians and teachers, editors and agents, readers and potential fans.  Why did you follow those folks? So they'd get to know you and your book, right? So they'd help you promote it, bring it into their library, read it at storytime, put it in a kids hand? So that maybe they might want to buy or read (or rep! or publish!) the next one? Of course.

So you know very well that you are talking to not just your friends, but to a group of people who work with kids and/or kids books all day long. Do you seriously think I, or any one of those other professional children's book people, will want to bring you in for an event, or tell the marketing team about you, or otherwise promote your picture book when we know you are making comments about the looks of 16 year old "jailbait" on youtube, publicly bemoaning your erectile dysfunction on facebook, instagramming pictures of your rum-soaked bachelorette party, posting unfunny pedophilia jokes on your blog, or talking about MILFS at a school event on Twitter? Do you imagine a PARENT would see all this and give your book to their KID? Are you nuts? 

Seriously. If you want a locked twitter or a private facebook for just you and your wild hockey team pals or fellow members of your Bad Medicine cover band or Mile High Ladies Fan Club or whatever, go for it, and god bless. 

But if you have a public account on which you are promoting your work for children, and you are friending/following readers, teachers, librarians and publishing professionals, use your dang noodle. And not THAT noodle, mister.

"But Jennifer, that is CENSORSHIP!"  -- nope, I think it's actually just common sense. "But we're all ADULTS! Little kids aren't reading my facebook posts!"  -- sure, that's true. So if you're truly passionate about a topic, go for it. I would just suggest that if it is content that could not be printed in a newspaper, you're probably on the wrong track. I think of public social media like a cocktail party with colleagues and your boss... not a bachelor party with drinking buddies and a hooker. 

What do you guys think? Am I hopelessly conservative and out of touch?  I don't think so, but I am interested in other points of view.   

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Holiday Gift Giving - Agent Edition

Q: I have an agent I love, although she's not had success (yet?!) selling my book. The ever important question: what is appropriate for an author to do for her agent at the holidays? Just a card? A gift? What kind of gift? These are the things that keep me up at night! Thanks.

May seem silly to some, but I get this question with surprising frequency, so I am going to pull on my white gloves for an etiquette lesson.

Your agent needs and expects nothing for the holidays. You are under NO obligation to spend money or time on gifts your agent for holidays, or at any time of year. Even if you and your agent are friendly... even, in fact, if you and your agent are friends.

If you are the card-sending "type" and sending cards is already on your agenda -- go ahead and send a card. That's nice. But don't go out of your way to do it if you are not "cardish" by nature. Otherwise, an e-card, or just simple greetings in regular correspondence, such as you might give to anyone you do business with, are of course polite. You may not know what, if any, holidays your agent celebrates... so I'd suggest keeping it to a neutral "happy holidays", "happy new year" etc, unless you know for a FACT that your agent is a practicing member of a specific religion. (I usually say "stay warm!")

If you have a book deal to celebrate, or if you just love to give gifts and you REALLY WANT to give your agent a present, I'd suggest keeping it small - no need to go overboard. Perhaps something bookish, or some cool token related to your book. If you are an illustrator, a small piece of art would be beyond lovely. If she works in an office with other people, some nice chocolates or cookies to share, or a special snack from your region. If you know she likes a certain kind of coffee or booze, some of that would be appreciated (provided it is not too pricey). Your agent will be delighted to receive a gift... but again, she is NOT going to be expecting one, nor will she be disappointed if one does not come.

DON'T buy something lavish, particularly if your book has not yet sold. (If your book sold for a million bucks, by all means splurge on the luxe cashmere scarf or golden phone case... but if your book hasn't sold yet and you are barely holding down a job at Dairy Queen, it will make your agent worry. You want your gift to inspire delight, not concern.)

DON'T send perishable items to the office over the holiday break - nothing quite so gross as a box of decomposing pears leaking onto your desk when you come back from vacation. So make sure you find out when the office will be closed, or if there is a better address. I'd also steer away from things that have a scent (perfumes and soaps), and items of clothing that have a size.

DO remember that people go out of town and offices are closed over the holidays. Check for the best address before sending.

DO Let common sense be your guide. And DON'T worry!

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