Link & Small News Roundup

Welcome to Friday Five, evening edition!  HOW did this week go by so quickly?

1) The dog is now called Moxie.  It's a lot easier to say than Macadamia was. And easier to yell, which is good, since she has learned to take flying leaps onto my desk.  (Her formal name is Edith Macadamia Bouvier, if you must know, but Moxie will do for short.)

2) Last week (ish) my client Kate Messner wrote a terrific guest post on a blog about how she finds the time to write. And people? If don't believe that it can happen for you, if you think dealing with your job or your kids is too exhausting and you'll never be able to do all that AND write a book... you should definitely look to Kate as an example. She is a 7th grade teacher, a mom of two, and I just sold her twelfth book. If she can do it, you can do it.

3) But maybe–just maybe–you don't really want to do it. John "not my client" Scalzi has a terrific post up called Find the Time, or Don't.  To paraphrase, if you really wanted to be a writer, you'd find the time to write.  If you DON'T find the time to write... that's fine. Don't be a writer. No biggie, right?

4) All this shop talk making you hungry? Have some lemon pudding cake.  Nommity nom!  Now I have a ton of reading to do and can't stand around in the kitchen, so who is gonna bake it for me? 

5) This video made me crack up. But it contains salty language. You've been warned. "What is wrong with books?"


!!!!!!! [BESTIE x BESTIE  1] !!!!!!! from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

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Breaking Waves anthology

The BREAKING WAVES e-anthology is here!  Fiction, poetry, essays, and fabulousness!

This anthology is co-edited by my client Tiffany Trent and features work by both Tiffany and another client, Patrick Samphire, as well as Hugo & Nebula award winners & luminaries like Ursula K. LeGuin. Wow! Most importantly, though, all profits from BREAKING WAVES go to support ongoing clean-up efforts in the Gulf. 

Fans of Tiffany's HALLOWMERE series should note that there's a special Hallowmere story in the antho that you will not find anywhere else.  Download it!

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Macadamia!

So, if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you've no doubt noticed that as of yesterday, there has been a new addition to the household. Meet the extra-adorable MACADAMIA!

I didn't give her that name, she came with it. Though the vet wrote "MACEDONIA" on her paperwork. I am thinking that she'll need to be something a little easier to call soon, probably "Maggie".  She is about two years old, very sweet-tempered, doesn't spook, is good with other dogs and people, is busting with personality AND is housebroken. (She doesn't really come when she's called... but that is mostly because she doesn't really have a name yet!)

The thing is... Macadamia-or-whatever-her-name-is, is a foster dog. The rescue organization I am working with saves dogs like her from being destroyed in high-kill shelters in Georgia, gives them vet treatments and finds them nice adoptive families in NY. That means that she is only with me till she finds her "forever home" somewhere.

If you are in NY and in the market for a pup, take a look at Perfect Pets Rescue.  They are nice folks, and very nice dogs. Maybe you can foster!  Or you can adopt... maybe you'll even be a home for cute little whats-her-face!  :-)

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Frontlist, Backlist, Midlist

Let's talk about a dirty word.

MIDLIST. Some published authors seem to be quite worried about being called "midlist". But kids, I've got news. Almost everyone is "midlist", unless you are super of-the-moment and hot, or famous and old. I think it's time for a vocab lesson.

Frontlist: Booksellers and publishers use the term "frontlist" to describe all the brand-new books this season, the books that are in the catalogue but have never been in the store before. These titles have no sales history yet, and everyone is very excited about them because they are NEW and SHINY and ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!  (Yes, if an old title is reissued in a brand-new format, it is frontlist again).

Once books stop being imaginary and/or brand-spanking-new, they are no longer frontlist and they will start getting returned if they aren't selling. For grownup books, this is about an eight week window. Kids and teen books have a bit more time, generally until the next season's books come in, so four to six months, or maybe even up to a year if there is room on the shelf.

Backlist: Booksellers and publishers use the term "backlist" to describe the books that have been out for a while, the paperbacks, the perennials. Books that are no longer frontlist become backlist or go out of print. Titles that have earned out, and that sell for years after they've come out, or for lifetimes, or even for millenia, stay backlist. Flashy NYT bestsellers or trends be damned, backlist is where the consistent money is. A deep backlist allows publishers to survive. You might hear an editor say something like "this will backlist well" -- they mean that this is a title that may not do amazing numbers, but that they expect it to stay in print and sell steadily for many years to come. This is a very good thing.


"Midlist": This isn't really a term that booksellers traditionally use in the same way as frontlist or backlist. It is instead most often a pejorative, probably first used by a smart-ass, meant to sound like those terms, but really it just means "not hot", "meh", "Johnny Average."

I think this is something authors ought to reclaim. Look, unless you are superfamous and dead (Hemingway, Poe, Faulkner) or superfamous and filthy rich (Patterson, King, Rowling) or people who read the New Yorker and wear ironic glasses talk about your ass (Gladwell, Foer, Franzen), or you are on the NYT bestseller list right now or soon (Steifvater, Clare, Hopkins, Marr) ... YOU ARE PROBABLY "MIDLIST".  Yes, you!  AND YOU!

And yes, that probably means your book.  Get over it.  It shouldn't be an insult.  It means you are normal. You haven't hit the bigtime, nor are your books being read by generations of schoolchildren, nor do people in other countries, or even other counties, know your name... and that's OK.  It's Normal. Normal. Normal is not bad.

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Hudson Valley YA Society

Are you a YA writer or YA lit lover who lives in the Hudson Valley?  I'm starting a literary salon that you should be a part of.  This means teens, teachers, librarians, booksellers, writers and just readers of all ages who love Young Adult books.

We'll have monthly (or so) get-togethers, featuring an author event followed by general revelry, drinks, shenanigans, book discussions, book swaps, etc.

The Society's first "meeting" will be Sunday, September 26, 4pm at Oblong Books & Music in Rhinebeck.

Cecil Castellucci, Siobhan Vivian and Natalie Standiford will be reading and signing books at their event at the bookstore at 4pm, followed by revelry at a location to be decided.  Possibly still the bookstore. Possibly elsewhere.  Sort of depends how many people show up and how thirsty we all are.

I will have heaps of giveaways including loads of advance reading copies, and there will be mini-cupcakes.  :-)  So if you are a YA lit enthusiast, drop me a line, RSVP on facebook, join the fun.

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Editors Do the Darndest Things

From comments: "I'm still waiting for an agent to blog or tweet about something an editor did that annoyed them. I guess either editors are perfect or all those snarky agents who dare to tell it like it is find it a little harder to tell it like it is when the power balance is shifted."

Yep, you nailed it, editors are perfect!  I love them, no matter what.*

Even when they take months... and months... to read a short picture book.  No problem! That's fine, take your time.

Or when they disappear after expressing interest in a manuscript. Yep.  Just... disappear rather than give a concrete "on second thought, not for me" or any sort of closure. I don't blame them, after all, it's hard to say no.

Same holds true when they take forever to write a rejection letter made of fluffy nothing.

Or when they woo relentlessly before they buy the book, declaring mad love for the author and their work... but then as soon as the vows are said and the ink is dry on the contract, passion seems to turn into business-as-usual, communication dries up, and, and, and...sorry, I just had a bit of a post-traumatic stress flashback.

OK, I guess I don't really love them all all the time.

But they do generally have good manners and do not pee on the rugs.  And you have to admit, they are pretty cute.  Awww...

* In all seriousness... the good that most editors do to help authors and advocate for books they love far outweighs my small annoyances about the process.  And I fully realize that some of these same grievances could be levelled against most agents from time to time.  I am just gently poking fun, and not at anyone in particular.  So authors, don't take this as a post about How Editors Are Evil. They aren't. Well... the ones I know aren't, anyway!

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#NOFAIL

The question has come up on Nathan's blog, and elsewhere... How do you feel about things like SlushPile Hell and #queryfail and all the other myriad spots on the web where agents snarkily take a piece out of authors?

I admit, I've got a big problem with this stuff. Not because I am not a fan of quick wit... goodness knows I am!  And it isn't because I'm too noble to have a laugh at truly nutso queries. My issue is, I cannot even fathom having the time or energy or desire to keep a bad query in my line of sight for long enough to formulate a tweet or a tumblr about it.  I mean really.  Bad queries are the LAST thing I want to dwell on.

Personally, I don't get the real-time blogging or tweeting of rejections, either. Fans say it is "educational", and I guess it could be, but  a) How can the author NOT know it is them, when the tweet comes directly after the rejection? and b) How do the agents even do it? I tried to just write down for myself why I rejected 30 queries in a row - and for the vast majority, it was because I DIDN'T LIKE THEM ENOUGH. Not too helpful, and why should I spend more time thinking about them?  It's a puzzler.  (I do get this kind of thing if it is something the author has signed up for, like Query Shark, for example - that is a different story, the authors know what they are signing up for, the feedback is sharp but useful, and the shark should get hazard pay.)

So rest assured that, though I may privately (quietly) chuckle, I'm not going to laugh to your face, and I'm not going to post your queries on my blog (unless there is some oddball situation in which I must, and then I'll have gotten your permission). *

Now that THAT'S clear...

* I do reserve the right to tweet in very general terms if I am seeing a multitude of the same mistakes happening a lot in one day, however... but not direct quotes!

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How Many is Too Many?

Anonymous Comment: you have 24 authors already, and you're opening your email for more?? are you planning on never sleeping again?

Keep in mind, Anonymous, though I don't think that it affected my clients negatively in any way, or that they experienced any lag in communication from me because of it, I have essentially been a part-time agent for the past three years. I've had a "day job" the whole time. Now that day job is gone. Though I am still helping out a few hours here and there at a bookstore, it is for fun, just because I like it and would miss it if I stopped.

The problem with answering the question "how many clients do you have?" is, if I say a number that seems low to you, you'll think I'm not popular. If I say a number that seems too high, you'll think I don't have time. But what is normal, or average? I think that most well-established agents have many more clients than I do.

But not all those clients are active at any given time!  Let's break it down. Right now my clients are:

Writing or revising a contracted book.  5

Writing or revising a book that has not sold yet. 4

Taking a "life break".  2

Incommunicado until they come out of their hidey-holes, barring perhaps one monthly email.

On submission, waiting to hear from editors.  4

Turned in option book, waiting to hear from editor. 1

Occasional email or quick phone call touch base / nudges / questions

Sold, waiting for contracts or edits. 1

Has interest, waiting for offer. 3

Waiting game with sporadic flurrys of activity till they go code red

New Book from Client / Waiting to submit (I'm not submitting anything new during August).  4

Reading, crafting submission lists, writing letters, worrying, editing, thinking about, till projects are in editors hands and it goes to code green. 

Actively negotiating contract.  1  

Daily emails and phone calls, lots of activity for short period of time, until it goes back to code gold.

Some, of course, fall a bit into more than one category.  They are all important to me, but there is nothing I can give to Code Blue-ers right now, and percentage-wise, they are in the majority. Code Green and Gold are on the radar, but there is not a great deal to do there either besides be available if there are questions, nudge the editors, send updates, and be ready for them to go red. Code Pink and Code Red are the most active, but as you can see, they are also the least amount percentage-wise.

Aside from the immediate concerns of clients, negotiating specific contracts, etc, much of my time is spent reading, doing research and getting to know editors - which I do for all my clients, and would be the same if I had three or three hundred.

Of course, this answer is personal to me, I in no way want to imply that this is "right" or that agents who have many more or fewer clients than I do are "wrong."  I just know how my own time-management breakdown works.  The long and the short of it is, personally, I've only signed one new author this year and I have time for a few more. Not a LOT more - but a few more. Now I just have to find them.  :-)

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Wheeee!

Lots of new stuff on the life front. My insane roadtrip (11 states in 7 days) ended and my stint in New York began. When I first got here, I was suffering from general exhaustion and freaked-out-edness. I suddenly found myself in the countryside and I was scared of... I don't know. Ghosts? Wild animals? Basically I'd never slept someplace simultaneously so quiet and SO LOUD. 

But now I'm used to sleeping in what sounds like the ancient rain forest, and I've met some new friends, and gone to the county fair, and started working a couple days a week at a very cute bookstore (which is a great way to get to know the neighborhood as well as keep myself in the mix about new books)... well, let's just say it's been quite a week.

Now that I have my internet set up, and a table that doubles as a desk, I am ready to get back to work. There are about a thousand unread emails to catch up on, and some client books to read. But here's a secret: I have more time on my hands here, and I gotta pay for this place somehow. So I am definitely looking to take on a few new clients. Have something awesome?  QUERY ME! 

And I need to get back in the swing of the blog, too, so if you have questions I can answer, feel free to fire them at me in the comments. If it is a short answer, I'll reply in comments, and if something warrants a long reply, I will blog it. 

Hope everyone else is having a productive and exciting end-of-summer!  Wheeee!

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On the Road

As many of you know, I am moving to New York for a while, which means I've packed up all my stuff and am driving cross-country this week. (Currently in Wyoming!) I'm having fun, but it is exhausting, and I am definitely not going to be coming up with any new content here for a while. :-)

If you'd like to follow me on the road, I am posting occassional pictures and fun stuff on twitter at #roadtrip10

Otherwise, I do have my phone and can check internet occassionally, so if it is urgent, by all means contact me -- but if it can wait, that would be good. I should arrive by 8/20, be settling in to my New York digs by 8/23, and back in the swing of things for real by September.

Thanks for your patience!

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Public Service Announcement, or, How to Insult Your Local Independent Bookstore

If you are an author and you only link to A**zon on your website, booksellers will hate you. Really.

If you go to a store, get a bunch of book recommendations and then go buy them online?  You might as well walk up to the manager, slap her, and tell her that you hope her store closes. Yeah. That's how big a jerk you are.

If you go to a booksigning at your local independent bookstore, and you don't buy a book?  YOU ARE ROBBING THEM.

If you are an author yourself, set a good example for crying out loud. Shop at bricks-and-mortar bookstores and link to indiebound or an indie store on your website. When you try to befriend booksellers, a good way to do it is by actually buying the books they recommend. When you go to "support a friend" at a signing, try actually being supportive by BUYING A BOOK.

Thank you.

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In the Spotlight

Ever wanted to know every single thing about me ever?

Check out this astonishingly thorough "Agent Spotlight" on Casey McCormick's Literary Rambles blog.  Literary Rambles looks like a terrific resource for agently research, so if you are on the hunt for representation, bookmark it!  (But never forget to visit the agents own website as well, just to make sure all the info you gather is up-to-date.)

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How to be an Agent, or, You Want a Piece of This?

Being an agent isn't all about reading books and knocking back bon-bon martinis, despite how Twitter might make it look.  I keep getting asked for career advice from would-be agents.

Oh, I have some advice:

1. Finish school. Doesn't matter in what, but try something useful, like an advanced degree in business, medicine, engineering or law.
2. Get a job that pays well so your mom can brag about you rather than having to loan you money.

JENNIFER YOU ARE BEING NEGATIVE!!!

Well, internal critic, I prefer to think of it as being realistic. But fine.

In all seriousness, these are some of the qualifications to get in the door, in no particular order:

* Must be extremely confident and outgoing (or at least able to present as such)
* Must be good at negotiation and arguing
* Must have a head for business
* Must be detail-oriented, tough, practical, no-nonsense, and ambitious.
* Must be able to deliver, and take, a crushing amount of rejection.
* Must be a book expert, have tons of market-savvy
* Must know A LOT about the ins-and-outs of publishing
* Must be able to read and understand a contract
* Must have good connections
* Must be willing to work for free

These are nearly all qualities that are easiest to get by having a career in another branch of publishing first. This is why many agents are editors, publisher rights managers, booksellers or buyers before joining agencies.

This is an apprentice business. There are no classes, there is no certification. The best way to learn to do it is by doing it, and pretty much the only way you are going to get to do that is by interning/working for an existing agency. Generally for free. Then it helps enormously if you continue being mentored by those agents when you are ready to start taking your own clients.

Should you start your OWN agency?  Probably not. If you don't have a name that will open doors yourself, you'd best work for an agency whose name and reputation will help you get those valuable connections. If you are not an expert in the areas of contract law, subrights and similar, you had better be part of an agency that has experts on the roster. Sure, anyone can theoretically just call themselves an agent, but you'll be in for a big, nasty surprise if you think you can bluff your way through with nothing to back you up.

Best case scenario, even if you join an awesome agency, build up an amazing list of clients and start selling right away, it is extremely unlikely that you will be able to earn enough consistent money to live properly until your books are published, earn out and start earning royalties - in other words, for about 5 years. The less experience you have in the publishing world to start out with, the longer you will have to intern, and the more difficult you will find the beginning of your career.

So if you're serious, start here.

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The Celebrity Effect

One of my pals on Facebook posted a story about how Pope Benedict is writing a children's book. This inspired lots of anti-celebrity writer comments (and some Catholic-bashing ones for good measure). 

This happens on forums every time a celeb children's book is announced.  "Real" kids book writers tend to get het up about it, whether the celeb in question is a sports star, pop singer, or in this case, pontiff.  "How dare they! They  should stick to what they are good at and leave children's book writing to people who really care about children and the art of writing books!"  Then come the insults about that celebs suitability as a role model, alleged scandals, questionable morality, looks and lack of intellect.

I understand some of the ire, particularly when the celebrity in question says something dumb like "there just weren't any good kids books out there, so I had to write one!" ... but I guess I can't get too worked up about it.

a) How do we know that celeb isn't an awesome writer? Don't get me wrong, I have my doubts, but still. I'd be bummed if somebody said I couldn't or shouldn't write a book because I have a totally different day job.  Wouldn't you?

b) Yay for selling books! The buyers for celebrity books are probably not people who buy a ton of kids books anyway, but who knows, maybe this will bring them into a store to buy something else as well. Or maybe the kid who gets that book will love it and want more books. Goodness knows, I loved the Berenstain Bears when I was a kid, and you'd be hard-pressed to find something more didactic that THAT - but my love of those dumb bears turned into a love of books, which got me to keep reading.

c) If it sells well, that publisher will have more dough with which to buy books from debut and non-celeb authors.  A rich publisher is a happy publisher.

And insulting Catholics or priests, or pop-music fans or singers, or sports enthusiasts or players, because they have an interest in these books? Poorly done. Look, many millions of people are Catholic and wonderful, many hundreds of thousands of priests work their whole lives to help children, not hurt them, and many if not most of those people care about what the pope has to say. Many millions of people are Madonna fans and wonderful, and Madonna seems to care deeply about children and their issues. Many millions of people love Michael Phelps, and he is a role model and hero for many many children.

We can assume that these people are probably not evil people. Sure, many celebs are suddenly in the writing business for some cash, just like some start perfumes or clothing lines when you know they aren't exactly chemists or designers. So what?

That means that somebody out there thinks that many hundreds of thousands, if not millions of consumers, will be interested in what that person has to say.  So maybe instead of thinking of these books as "books" the same way that your books are, think of them as merchandise.

If you don't like the pope, or Madonna, or Michael Phelps, or any celebrity, you are quite free not to purchase their merchandise, whether that be books, or perfume, or leggings.

Insulting these public figures and their fans is not actually helping you, or advancing your own career or writing in any way.  Their book being published isn't taking away your chance to be published. They are not taking away "your slot" -- that slot is the "celebrity merchandise" slot, you probably aren't a celebrity, that slot wasn't going to be filled by you anyway.

So take a spoonful of sugar, and make your book as great as it can be, so that you have a shot at one of the slots you DO have a chance to fill.

And if you are a celebrity, or God's Voice on Earth, and you happen to be reading this?

Call me.

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Open Thread

I keep seeing people on Twitter use this thing "Formspring." Which apparently allows anonymous people to ask whatever questions they want, and then you answer them. It seems to me there are lots of places on the internet for such things... but whatever.

Since I don't have room for another social media site in my brain, and answering questions is sort of the point of this blog, I decided to make this my Mini-Formspring section. So, anonymous or not, feel free to ASK QUESTIONS, and I will answer either in comments (if it is a short answer) or in a  post (if it is a long answer).  You may also feel free to just randomly make a comment, tell me a joke, put a picture of kitty cats, or whatever.  Comments are moderated for spam control, but anonymous comments are fine.

Andddd...  GO!

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Mythbusting 101

At last week's conference, I got manymany questions referring to publishing myths as if they were truths. Many of these were mentioned multiple times. Always they were brought up by smart-seeming people speaking in earnest tones. Here, once and for all, let us destroy these lies with scorching truth-beams!

LIES: and then the truth
You can't get an agent unless you are published:  Fully half of my clients are (or were) debut authors when I signed them up.

You can't get published unless you have an agent: Plenty of people get first book deals without agents. Some people even have whole writing careers without agents and do just fine. (Though to be fair, this is generally not recommended - these folks usually have serious Type-A personalities, are highly organized and business minded, love to do research, and are control-freaks and extremely confident extroverts... a rare combo for writers, in my experience) 

You can't get published, or get an agent, unless you know somebody: As far as I know, all of my debut author clients came to me with absolutely zero connections in the publishing world. 

You can't get published, or get an agent, unless you live in New York City: None of my clients live in NYC. 

You need an agent who lives in NYC: There are great agents all over the country... even in California. You need an agent with a track record, or a newbie with a well-respected agency behind them, who has connections with publishers. Where they live doesn't matter. 

You shouldn't send your work to anyone, cause they will steal your ideas: Trust me, we don't want your ideas. Ideas are a dime a dozen. Making something great out of them is the hard part! 

Don't query during the summer, nobody works in publishing during summer; don't query in the winter, nobody works in publishing in the winter:  The fact is, most agents and editors have to work year round, just like everybody else. We also often take a vacation for a couple weeks sometime during the summer and around the Christmas/New Year holidays... just like everybody else. And yes, this means sales slow down a bit. But that doesn't mean that you can't query! In fact, many agents use this time to play catch up. I have both signed clients and sold books during the supposed summer/winter doldrums.

Once you get an agent, you are 100% set. Get ready for easy street!:  Sorry, having an agent does not mean that your book will sell. Nor does it mean that your work is done.

A huge publisher is better than a small one:  Depends on the kind of book you've written. Some books and authors would get lost at a big publisher but thrive at smaller one. Large publishers might have more money, but small publishers might take risks that big publishers are too bureaucracy-ridden to take. There are advantages and disadvantages to both, and neither one is inherently "better" than the other.

Editors don't edit anymore: They really do, poor things. Though there are fewer people to do more work than ever, and they have to go to plenty of meetings during the day, all the editors I know really do still edit. Often not during office hours.

Agents don't even read the slush, they just send form rejects:  Oh but you are wrong. Yes, we reject quickly. Think about it this way: I don't need to listen to a whole concert to know that the orchestra is out of tune. 

If you get a big advance, and your book does badly, you have to pay the publisher back:  Nope. The advance is yours to keep, unless you are in breach of contract somehow. But your publisher may well be leery of taking another risk on you if they lose a lot of money the first time around.

Picture books are easy to write. OR, YA writing is fine, but eventually you should "graduate" to writing grown-up books.  Errr... screw you.

Once you get that contract, your life will change for the better. (aka: Publishing means fame and fortune!): Selling your book is probably not going to change your fortunes very dramatically. The VAST majority of authors do not make enough money on a single contract, or even several, to give up their day job. A contract is neither medicine, nor magic. It can't transform a generally unhappy person into a cockeyed optimist, it can't solve all your problems, it won't make you more popular or prettier. Sorry.

WHEW. That was fun. Any other myths for me to bust? 

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Panther-Stalking

As I mentioned in the last post, my secret shame is that I ran out of books while at the week-long conference, and ended up reading terrible romance novels that I found in the bathroom of the rental cottage.  By popular demand, a book review!

 SILKEN SAVAGE: Tanya and her gal-pals get kidnapped by a bunch of Cheyenne brutes, who savagely molest, abuse and brand them as slaves. Tanya's captor is the awesomely named (and comparably progressive) A-Panther-Stalks, who wants to "gentle her" like a wild pony, so she will be his willing slave. Tanya is fine with that. She is also stone bitch who doesn't lift a finger to help her friends, or even seem to think about them at all, even though they are being raped and beaten half to death in the tipi next door. Guess she is too busy Panther-Stalking.

She becomes A-Panther-Stalks' wife/slave, and at a certain point, the clan leader "Kettle-Black" or something says that she has to do a series of tests to prove herself as a brave or... actually, I don't really know what happened at all, it just turned into gibberish.

Takeaway: Seems extremely easy to master the Cheyenne language and folkways, since Tanya the idiot (with Mane of Lioness) managed it in less than a week. Unclear who is the titular 'savage'.  Rating: Zero headdress-feathers.

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Home agaiZzzzzz

I had such a great time hanging out with the folks at the Oregon Coast Children's Book Writer's Workshop this past week!  So many thanks to conference chieftan and master chef David Greenberg and his amazing wife Susan for their warmth and awesome organization skills, to the faculty for being so terrifically smart and funny (especially my roommate April Henry, WHO I LOVE SO MUCH) --  and of course to the WRITERS, who were brave enough to 'put it out there' all week.  Plus I got to see my client LK Madigan (yayyy!) and even go to bookstore mecca Powells.

But of course, the main event was the week at the coast. This is the view from the conference center -- not too shabby:

And hey, here's a little fellow who I met this morning in our yard:

There was much in the way of nature, as you can see. Including whales, porcupines, baby and mama deers, etc. (Not to mention all the wild writers...)  There was also no phone and very little internet, and I ran out of books at a certain point, which was perhaps the scariest thing of all.  Let's just say, if you've never been stuck in a vacation cottage with nothing to read but a bunch of really terrible racist romance novels* and decade-old Readers Digests, you haven't lived. 

Now I back in California and have a backlog of about a jillion emails to catch up with. If you feel that I owe you a response about something, please don't hesitate to remind me, I don't want anything to slip through the cracks.

* review to follow

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Conference Time is here!

I'm prepping for a week-long conference that I am leaving for tomorrow. I have to give two speeches at this conference. Naturally I plan to subvert the topics. As I gather my notes, I give you, the loyal blogreader, a sneak preview.  Anything that I am forgetting to talk about?  Remind me in the comments, please!

Alleged Topic: State of the Industry: I will discuss "what's hot and what's not", featuring an overview of some titles that are hugely popular right now at the bookstore level and what makes them so, along with what I am seeing as trends in the slush pile. Also discussed: Which categories are selling well and which are flat, and how writers can make their work stand out in a crowded marketplace.

Real Topic: MOAR AWESOME! Quick dismissal of "what's hot and what's not" concept. Discussion about why thinking about trends is such a waste of time. Bitter complaints about how 95% of my slush pile is exactly the same as everything else. Encouragement of authors to follow their own star and MAKE trends; examples of why they are much more likely to be "hot" that way.

Bonus: Vampire jokes, curse words.

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Alleged Topic: Pitch Perfect In this session, I will read and discuss samples of actual  queries that have caught my attention in slush, and then gone on to become books.  I'll explain what works, and what doesn't, and will reveal my own 'secret formula'  for a great pitch.   Attendees will be welcome to ask questions and get involved.

Real Topic: CHILLAX & TELL ME WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT!   Why you shouldn't worry about how to pitch the book until you have a book to pitch. Why conversations about just about anything else are usually more interesting and useful than your pitch. Why most query letters suck. How to not suck.  Also, Bookstore Handselling 101.

Bonus: two words.  MAD LIBS!

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The Great Big All-You-Can-Stand Super-Self-Promotion Post, part 1

So you have a book coming out. Congrats!

I'll assume for the sake of this post that you are like most authors. You got a Just OK, Pretty Good or even Fairly Great advance, but you are by no means taking gold coin baths. Your publisher may be big and imposing, or teensy and quiet, but either way they are very busy and they don't seem to have much time for little old you. 

You might be feeling somewhat useless. Strangers in NYC are tinkering with your baby and you have no control over it. You want a way to do something (anything!) useful, but you don't know what, or how, or where to start. Well... I am by no means a publicist, but I do have some tips that are not hugely difficult (and may even be plain old common sense!) but that I hope will help you:

1) WRITE YOUR NEXT BOOK. Seriously. I know it doesn't SEEM like obvious marketing advice, but this is truly the most important thing you can do for yourself. If your first book comes out to a lukewarm reception or does poorly, you will need something fantastic to follow up with.  If your first book comes out and is a smash hit, your time will become even more precious than it already is. In any case, nerves, self-doubt and exhaustion may well start playing havoc with your writing once you have that first deal. It will help if you are working diligently on a new project whenever you can, so you either have it ready when you need it or at least have something else to focus on besides your own neuroses. (And let's face it, you're a writer, you probably have neuroses aplenty.)

2) WEBSITE. In my opinion, there is NO excuse for not having a website. Whether it is something flashy that cost a ton to set up, or something simple that you made yourself using free software, or anything in between... you have to have something. Preferably something that is clean, professional, has your and your agents info, has your book info (including links to buy your books, and isbns, and reviews/blurbs/contests/excerpts etc...).  This doesn't have to be the fanciest site in the world, but it has to exist. Not having a website is like a businessperson not having a card.  Or like a retail store that refuses to have a public phone number. It just doesn't make sense.


3) MAILING LIST. Your mailing list is important, and you need to actively cultivate it. Start with all the people you know personally, right now.  Whenever you do an event, have a little notebook and get people's info to add. Get to know the folks on your alumni committee. Get the info of people you work with. Go to bookstores and make friends with the children's person. Meet the teachers at your kids school. Join (and participate) in onine writer's communities. These people will all be the seeds to start a great mailing list.  Oh it will grow when you have real fans from "the wild", but I can't overstate the importance of getting that base layer in yourself.  These are the people that are going to get you school visits, or buy your books for their classroom, etc etc.  If you get postcards, you might send them to these people, or invite them to your launch party if they are local. Make new friends, and keep the old.

4) SOCIAL NETWORKING.  No matter what anyone says, you don't HAVE to have a blog, or do Facebook, or Twitter, or Tumblr. You don't have to join a debut authors group or subscribe to list-servs, or anything of the kind. For many authors, these sorts of activities are a time-suck that takes them away from what they should be doing (which is of course, say it with me - WRITING THAT NEXT BOOK!) But if you do happen to want to test the waters, I think that it would behoove you to at least try Twitter and/or Facebook. There might well be new sites next month or next year that are even better, but for the time being these ones are where its at, and will help you build up that mailing list! :-)

As for blogging - if you are a natural blogger and you enjoy doing it, by all means go for it. If you find yourself exasperated or worse, please don't bother. Blogs that are a chore to write are generally a MEGA-chore to read, and will end up reflecting badly on you.

5) NICHE MARKETING. You have a book about a tween Ice Skater coming to terms with popularity vs. family? Consider promoting this book to Ice Skating groups, and Mother-Daughter book groups. Get an ad in a popular skating magazine, if you can. Give a few copies to Skate Bloggers.  Or say you have a book about a Jewish kid who explores space. Try promoting this book at the JCC, and the Planetarium. See if you can get a local Jewish neighborhood paper to write an article about your fascinating book. Befriend the Jewseum in San Francisco and the Skirball in LA. Find out when the Jewish book fests, what your local Jewish schools are, and see if you can visit them.  These smaller niche markets are generally easier to approach, less expensive to advertise in, and very likely to be more receptive to hearing about your book, than huge markets. Whereas general-interest book bloggers get a million free books, so many they are tripping over them half the time (and they'll only read a fraction of them), your local shul or skate club president may be super-excited to get a free book and blog the heck out of it and tell everyone they know.

Doesn't seem like as big a deal as an ad in the NY Times? You'd be really surprised how many sales a few super-pumped moms, teachers or community leaders can generate. (AND you'd be surprised how little people actually pay attention to the ads in the NYT!) Remember - and this is certainly common sense, but it's amazing how often people don't get it: The personal always trumps the generic.  A recommendation from a trusted source always trumps seeing an ad you have no connection with. A hand-written note to a friend is better than a press release.

'BUT I'VE DONE ALL THESE THINGS!!!'  -- well congratulations, you are ahead of the curve. This is the most important stuff. But I am positive that you guys have more great ideas that'll be fodder for TGBAYCSSSPP part 2. Care to share them in the comments?

(And yes, the fact that there will be a part 2 means that this is NOT actually the All-You-Can-Stand ... it is the all I can stand. Sick of typing!)

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