June-Bugs Open Thread

BEA madness is officially over for another year, and I managed to get out of it with only a scratchy throat rather than the full-fledged flu that usually occurs. Then the long Memorial Day weekend has been full of blissful reading (client manuscripts and - gasp! - an actual book, too!)  Miss Moxie has been napping through most of these recent hot, muggy days, but we did do a quick stroll through the Vanderbilt estate yesterday. (She likes to pretend she is owned by fancy people.)


I know that I will have time tonight and tomorrow to answer questions... and I know I will NOT have time later in the week. SO, I have decided to open the open-thread a bit early this time around. You know the drill:

Regale me with your agentish (or booksellerish) questions. Short answers will go in the comments, long answers may merit a post of their own. 

Annnnd.... ACTION!

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Response, No Response, Autoresponse

A peek behind the curtain at the Agency:

Some weeks ago (a month or more, actually) ABLit underwent a server change. Now, that may not mean much to you (it didn't to me, until it happened) - but the repercussions were, well, irritating for us, and for many of you as well. To wit: I didn't get email at all for a couple of days, at least. And once that was fixed, there was still the little matter of Querys.

The Great Autoresponder Crisis of '11.
Autorespondergate.
Gotterdamurautoresponder.

We realized we had a problem when writers started panicking. They'd write, or just resend queries over and over, or call the agency up, or post mean things about us on message boards, because DID THEIR QUERIES GO THROUGH????  Then came email... after email... after email... to our valiant webmistress and various People Who Know Things About Things. Then more a month or more of MORE emails, where everyone at the agency processed the fact that, apparently, for whatever reason, our new server made our Query Autoresponder null, and impossible to restore.  Sigh. We all went around in circles about WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE AUTORESPONDER.

At a certain point I just wanted the whole thing to go to the devil and start taking paper queries again. Who even needs a computer? But now, thank goodness, sanity has been restored.

When you query me, if you follow submission guidelines and put "query" in the subject line of the email, you should get an email that looks something like this:

This is a confirmation that your email was received.

Because of the high volume of submissions we receive, we are not always able to respond personally to every query. If we are interested in your work, we will follow up with you by email or phone. However, If you haven't heard from us within 6-8 weeks, please assume your work is not a fit for our agency. 

We do understand and appreciate the effort that goes into getting your work out, and we wish we had time to respond personally to all submissions. Unfortunately, this is no longer a business reality.

Thank you for thinking of Andrea Brown Literary Agency in regard to your work. 

I am sharing the contents of this automatic message with you here on the blog so I can make a few points about it. And, because I get questions about it all the time, and I like to be transparent, I'll share with you my method of query-reading, and a bit more on our response policy.

1) This is merely an automatic message. It is in no way a judgment about the quality of the work you have presented. It is not a rejection. It is not anything. There is no need for a response to this.

1b) In fact, if you respond to this, because I have threaded email, your query will move farther away from the front of the line, because I read queries in the order received. (It doesn't matter too much, but just a point of fact.)

2) Because we are, theoretically, a "No Response Means No" agency, a lot of writers get quite distressed, thinking we might not even GET their query, and how would they know? This automatic message seeks to remedy this problem. At least you know that the query got to us.

3) The reality is, we get a crushing amount of email every week. Most of my colleagues adhere strictly to "No Response Means No." And they will probably want to strangle me for saying this (sorry guys). But... I really do try to respond to things, at least with a one-line form rejection, despite the fact that our official policy is "No Response Means No." It is just a personal quirk of mine, I truly hate leaving loose ends.

I read everything myself. EVERYTHING. I do not have a reader for slush. I tend to read things a few days a week, sort them into folders, and then respond all on one day a month. My response time is generally 4-6 weeks or less. However, there have been times where that is just impossible despite my best intentions, and I don't want you to be endlessly on the string... so, yeah. If you haven't heard in 8 weeks, consider it a no. And I do not respond to material that falls outside the scope of what I represent, nor to authors who have failed to follow our (very simple) query guidelines.

Remember: Client reading MUST come first, Slush reading MUST come last. I like you, but you are not a priority... which is, of course, something that my clients appreciate. And you will too, if you become a client.

4) You really don't have to respond to form rejections, either. In fact, it is just more stuff in the query box to wade through, and I'd rather you didn't. I don't need thanks, and I just don't have time for follow-up questions of the "who WOULD like this, then" variety - that is research you should be doing yourself. Though a "thanks" for extensive notes on a full is appreciated, if only so that I know that you got them.

5) If something is good, but not right for the agent you have selected, we will share it with our colleagues. For this reason, a "No" from one of us is a "No" from all of us - even if it is of the "no response" variety. The only exception to this is if you have made a connection to one of us at a conference or similar and we have requested your work -- but if so, please be up-front about your query history at the agency.

I apologize personally for any confusion that this dark period in our email lives has caused. If you have questions, or anything about this is unclear, feel free to ask in comments.

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(Book) Siblings are Good. Twins can be Trouble.

Q: People say when you're researching agents, you should look at the acknowledgements of  books like yours to find out who reps them. But yesterday I saw you tweet that sometimes books are "too similar" and you reject them for that reason. What gives?

Yes. You should find an agent who reps the type of books you write, has similar taste to yours, and seems to "get it." This probably means doing research about some of your favorite writers and finding out who reps them.

But also yes, when you get right down to it, an agents list can really only have so many of one type of book before it starts getting boring and repetitive. And as far as specific plots and such, one will do.  As @earthwards on twitter said, "Think complementary, not competing!" Some for examples:

1) If you look on my sidebar you will see that I have two mermaid books. They are very different. One is contemporary and has to do with the world of Northern California surfing. One is romantic and historical and very much a fantasy-land story. They are not competing with one another. But I also don't need any MORE mermaid stories.

2) Or, to use a made-up example, maybe I have a funny and heartfelt contemporary YA about an Arab-American girl struggling to fit in and get out from under her controlling family. I have tried but so far haven't been able to sell it. I don't need another story about an Arab-American girl struggling to fit in, no matter how good it is, because I haven't been able to sell the one I've already got.

3) Or, let's say I do take on two similar folks.  Illustrator A draws super-cute retro characters with a high-action, cartoony feel. I love his work. I've repped him for two years. He's busy, but always looking for more illustration work.

Illustrator B draws super-cute retro characters with a high-action, cartoony feel. I love her work. I say, what the hell, it is like A's work... but I like it! I'll rep it. She's new, and building her resume.

Editor calls. "I need a cool illustrator who does super-cute retro illustrations with a high-action, cartoony feel. Can you send me samples from your best illustrator who fits the bill?"  But I have two people like that. Who do I send? What if I pick one and the other one finds out they didn't even get considered because I didn't show their work? What if I send both but one of them finds out that they didn't get the job because my other illustrator did? Ew. Not good.

4) OR, Author A writes a comedic paranormal about zombie tapdancers. I love it! So I take it on. I shop it a bunch of places, it gets a whole lot of rejections, and finally I sell it.
Author B writes a comedic paranormal, about zombie ballerinas. I love it! So what the hey, I take it on. Oh but... where do I shop it? I can't sell it to the same publisher that just bought A's book. Nor can I send it to any of the editors who passed on A. I am sure I could find more folks with some footwork, but then what if I sell the book, and the two are published at the same time, by different publishers?

Now Book A and Book B are directly competing with one another. Of course ALL books are competing with one another... but there is no way that these two authors in this scenario will not feel like they are each other's biggest competition.  Every book review will mention the fact that there is another Zombie Dancing book, every publisher will look at the numbers next to each other, and one of them will probably do better than the other. Recriminations fly. Zombie Tapdancer feels like his publisher didn't do enough to sell the book. Zombie Ballerina is angry about all the goodreads reviews that call her a copycat.

I'm the agent, who is meant to take the author's side... but... they are BOTH my author. Awkward. There is really only room for one comedic paranormal Zombie Dancer on the list.

Get it?

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Wordcount Dracula

Q: My middle grade novel is complete at 250,000 words, and have five sequels planned which will each be approximately the same length. I know that this is considered "long" but I really can't cut anything, it is all integral to the story. What do you think?

Hold that thought, I am tying a noose.

In all seriousness... while this actually happens to be a fake question, I get queries for books this long all the time. And really? The idea of reading 1.5 million words, or even 250k words, makes me feel dead inside. Your story does not need to be this long, I promise you. (If it DOES need to be this long, it is not a middle grade, or it should be divided into 20 books, not 6.)

YES, if you are hugely successful with your first book, your publisher will want lots more books from you. YES, the more successful your books, the longer they will get to be without anyone batting an eyelash (see: Harry Potter series). But no publisher will let you publish a debut novel that needs to be a lengthy series in order to make sense, or a debut children's novel of 200,000+ words. This is the reality.

I am on the record as saying I don't really care about word counts unless they are so off-the wall out of bounds that it is absurd. And it is true. But there are generally accepted norms for this sort of thing that you should be aware of. I've pulled some new and classic examples in each fiction category so you can see how they vary.

PICTURE BOOK:  0-1,300 words. Sweet spot: 300-550*
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak: 336
Mostly Monsterly by Tammi Sauer: 348
Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor: 418
Ladybug Girl by David Soman: 721
* Note: I really advise clients to keep their picture books under 600 words - 800 at the very top. Picture books in the 1,000+ word range are generally folktales and fairy tales... and are not exactly in fashion. Unless you are a really gifted folklorist, I would not go down this road. There are very few such authors in the country. They know who they are.

EARLY READER: 100-2,500 words. Sweet spot: (depends on level)*
Elephant and Piggie: Can I Play Too? by Mo Willems: 199
On the Go with Pirate Pete and Pirate Joe by AE Cannon: 1,180
Dodsworth in London by Tim Egan: 1,293
Little Bear by Else Minarik: 1,630
Frog and Toad All Year by Arnold Lobel: 1,727
*Note: Because these books are meant for brand-new readers, these books are often marked according to level - the higher the level, the more sophisticated/longer the text can be. Publishers may have their own specific guidelines about these leveled readers, even requiring a certain number of syllables per page for readability. 

CHAPTER BOOK: 4,000-13,000 words. Sweet spot: 6,000-10,000
Magic Tree House Lions at Lunchtime by Mary Pope Osborne: 5,313
Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus by Barbara Park: 6,570
My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett: 7,682
Judy Moody was in a Mood by Megan McDonald: 11,049 

REALISTIC MIDDLE GRADE: 25,000-75,000 words. Sweet spot: 40,000-65,000
Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban: 29,052
Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech: 44,907 

We Dream of Space, Erin Entrada Kelly: 48,000
Brilliant Fall of Gianna Z by Kate Messner: 48,454 

Goodbye Stranger by Rebecca Stead: 53,669

Front Desk by Kelly Yang: 64,000

Merci Suarez Changes Gears by Meg Medina: 70,000

FANTASY MIDDLE GRADE: 35,000-90,000 words. Sweet spot: 45,000-75,000
Juliet Dove, Queen of Love by Bruce Coville: 43,912
White Mountains by John Christopher: 44,763
Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander: 46,926
Midnight for Charlie Bone by Jenny Nimmo: 65,006
Harry Potter & the Sorceror's Stone by JK Rowling: 77,508 

REALISTIC YA: 40,000-90,000 words*. Sweet spot: 45,000-75,000
Jumping Off Swings by Jo Knowles: 40,480
Great Call of China by Cynthea Liu: 52,532
Flash Burnout by LK Madigan: 67,186 
Looking for Alaska by John Green: 69,023
Harmonic Feedback by Tara Kelly: 71,935 

FANTASY YA: 50,000 words to 150,000 words**. Sweet Spot: 65,000-85,000 words.
Magic Under Glass by Jackie Dolamore: 55,787
Tithe by Holly Black: 66,069 
Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr: 73,426
Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray: 95,605
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare: 130,949  
Eragon by Christopher Paolini: 157,000

* This is especially true for debuts. Once you are famous, all bets are off.

* * It is really not advisable to go over 100,000 words as a debut author, unless you already have a following. Consider yourself warned - 100k is often the magic number that makes editors and agents curse, cry, and possibly delete. Not that you CAN'T be published over 100k, it definitely happens for select super-awesome YA fantasy in particular... just that it really will be yet another hurdle for you.

In every category, there are also a few random outliers, like Sarah, Plain and Tall (a middle grade at 9,000 words) or This Is All: The Pillow Book of Cordelia Kenn (a YA at 250,000) ... but for the purposes of this exercise, let's assume that you aren't Patricia MacLachlan or Aidan Chambers.  

ETA: Remember, this list is by no means exhaustive and should not be considered law. Don't get too freaked out about it... just find the average word count for books similar to your own, and try to be somewhere vaguely in the ballpark.

So how can you find these numbers yourself? Well, while the Accelerated Reader program is lame in a lot of ways, this is a very handy tool: To find pretty much any kids / YA word count, you can use the AR BookFinder. (Click 'librarian' or 'teacher' and then search for books like yours - click on the titles to get all kinds of info about them, including wordcount!)

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May Day Open Thread

Happy flowers! Sunshine! Trees! IT'S SPRING!  (actually this pic was taken during a spot of rain - but I like the flowers.)

ANYwhoo, I'm romping outside today, but when I come back I will answer questions on the open thread. If you have inquiries about agentish stuff, publishing, books in general, dogs, or whatever, throw them at me. As always, short answers will be in comments, long answers may warrant their own blog post.

Annnnnd.... GO!

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WTF is up with cursing in YA?

I answered this one in the April open thread, but it was buried and since I know a lot of people are curious about this stuff...

Q: I've come to disagreement w/ a friend over acceptable word choices for YA. The main cause of argument is the word "boner." The MCs are a 14 y/o girl and a 15 y/o boy. I can't see the word being acceptable, yet, she disagrees 100% with me. I realize boys, in fact, use the word but do I want my 13 or 14 y/o daughter reading it? No.

BONER is about the least offensive word to do with erect penises that I can think of, and if you are writing a YA set in high school that includes those body parts, it is ok to use. I wouldn't even call this a curse, really --  in some circles, it still means "to mess up" (like "pull a boner" is the same as "boneheaded maneuver") -- and not "erect penis."

Does that mean YOU have to use it? No. Does it mean YOU have to allow your daughter to read books that contain it? No. But will it be fine to publish for high school students? For sure. Provided of course that it is right for the character, that it makes sense in context and you aren't just randomly throwing words around.

Now, of course, there is such a thing as clean YA, in which you pretty much want to avoid any blush-inducing "downstairs" business.  But if you are writing scenes in which boners come into play, I am assuming that you are not writing strictly clean. (Still, you might look at a book like E. Lockhart's FLY ON THE WALL, which if I recall correctly was pretty clean, considering the fact that it takes place almost entirely in a boy's locker room... maybe there are other words you can use.)

Q: The first line of my manuscript uses the f-word twice. Line: "I can sum up my entire life in either of two words: f**k this or I quit. Maybe a grand total of four: f**k this, I quit." Would things like this turn agents away?

F**K no. ;-)

I am kidding, of course. MOST agents and editors who rep a lot of 14+ YA will think a few well-chosen curse words are no problem. And yes, that includes the asterisk-free "F-bomb."  You want to use it fairly sparingly, I think, but sometimes, for some characters, in some situations, there just might not be a better word. Again, you aren't going to sell these books to inspirational publishers, or to editors who focus on Clean Tween / "younger YA" fic, or who rely mostly on school/library sales - but those wouldn't have been appropriate publishers anyway, from the sounds of it.

Myself, it wouldn't stop me from reading more. But I might question whether that has to be the first line of the first page. First, because I wouldn't want somebody just glancing at the book to get the wrong idea of it.  And, I sorta feel like I want to get to know a character and be rooting for them in a way before I start seeing all the unsavory parts of their personality. A couple pages in, after (presumably) we understand WHY he might have an "eff this" attitude, it will come off differently than if that is the first thing we ever learn about him. Your first page sets the tone for the whole thing, and if the whole thing is going to be like this, it might be sort of tiresome 200+ pages in. (Again - I haven't read your book - maybe it works perfectly as-is. But without context, this is what crosses my mind.)

You might also consider seeing what other YA authors have done. Lots (like the previously mentioned E. Lockhart, as well as John Green and many others) use made up slang to express the feeling without relying on the actual curse. Sometimes unique word usage actually helps create a well-rounded character, because cursing CAN be a lazy writer's way of making a character seem "edgy."

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Link Roundup!

Let's close some tabs, shall we?

Here's a thoughtful post from Janni Lee Simner about the not-death of traditional publishing. Yes! Publishers are still good for some stuff after all, it seems. Surprise!

RomCom author Tawna Fenske pulls together some eye-opening posts about authors & money.

A great post from Jennifer Crusie about the basics of fiction writing.

Nathan Bransford warns against the "Spaghetti Agent."

And this just in from Client Pimpage Central:

Love funny stories? Love Dogs? Love Jews? Love funny stories about Dogs and Jews? UNCLE BORIS IN THE YUKON by Daniel Pinkwater is available again at last from Simon & Schuster.

The CORSETS & CLOCKWORK anthology is out from Running Press and includes stories from my own authors Tiffany Trent and Jackie Dolamore. Book Pixie has a contest to win a copy - ends 5/3.

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On Agency Agreements

Twitter-Q: What sorts of clauses should we watch for in the agent contract? Do authors ever have an attorney review before they sign?

I've been asked a variation of this question several times in recent days. I can trace the current anxiety surrounding this issue to a specific blog post from last week, this one from agent Kristen Nelson. I could have sworn that I'd written about this topic before, but I couldn't find in the blarchives, so here's my take:

I prefer to call the document in question an "Agency Agreement" rather than "contract" -- it is a contract, of course, but in my experience it is a much gentler, more genial, and much less confusing document than a publisher contract, and "agreement" more accurately fits the tone of the thing. Plus then it doesn't get confused with all the actual publishing contracts we will be negotiating on your behalf down the line. :-)

The agency agreements I've seen have been quite short and easy to understand. There should be nothing "gotcha" or secret about the terms set forth in the agreement. You should not need a team of lawyers or experts to parse the language, in fact, since the terms of the agreement are often so simple ("this is our commission" for example), they are often non-negotiable, so a lawyer would be a waste of your money. (That said, of course you may spend your money however you like... I'd just look at it before you start getting lawyered up.)

The agent you are signing with should make time to walk you through the agreement. If you feel totally freaked out by the complexity of the agreement, and are too scared to ask questions, or don't understand the answers... you might be signing with the wrong agent.

Here's are the big points an agency agreement should contain, and things to watch out for. NOTE: Some agencies have no agreements at all, it is all verbal/handshake. Some agencies will have more or less items, or have these worded in different ways, or in a different order, but these are in general items that should be covered either in your written agreement or in your conversation pre-"handshake" deal:

1. Scope of Representation: What is the agent repping? (books? short stories? magazine work? subrights? everything?) Is this a one year contract, or open-ended? I know that some agencies do a year at a time, and the contract renews (or doesn't) each year. Some do a book at a time, and the contract renews (or doesn't) when there is a new book. It is my experience, however, that many or most agents are "at-will" - in other words, we are your agent until such time as either party decides to part ways. Make sure you know what the agent is going to rep for you, and if this is a contract that has a specific term, or if it is open-ended.

2. Commission: How much the agent gets paid, and for what, and how the money will be distributed. Notes:

* Agents typically get 15% on regular book sales, and 20 or 25% on subrights that involve one or more co-agents (ie, Hollywood or foreign). I've heard of slight variations on this, but wildly different commission rates would set off major alarm bells for me.

* Money typically goes from the publisher to the agency, they take their commission out and forward your part to you. It is my understanding that legally, this has to happen within 2 weeks of the agency receiving the check. There may be exceptions to this arrangement, in which the publisher sends your portion of the monies directly -- for example, if you live in a foreign country, this might alleviate some of the bank fees. Doesn't really matter either way, but you need to know how you're going to get paid, and I would want this in the agreement.

* Expenses: If you request unusual services such as courier, overnight delivery, etc, you may have to pay for such expenses (I have never once had to charge expenses in this fashion, because my clients don't request unusual services. Regular postage, office supplies, etc, I pay for). In addition, you may have to pay for shipping of your own book overseas for foreign sales. This is normal. Any such charges should be well-explained to you, and documented/invoiced. NOT NORMAL: Requiring you to go out of pocket for special 3rd party editors or "consulting services" or similar. Major. Red. Flag.


* Agents typically get their commission for any book that they sell, for the lifetime of that publishing contract. When the book goes out of print and rights revert to you, 20 years from now or whatever, you've gotten a new agent and she sells the book to a publisher who re-prints it, the first agent should not get any % from that sale. Likewise, the new agent will not get any % from the first agent's sale. I have clients who sold their first book with another agent, or by themselves - I get no % from that. But if I sell that book to France, that is a new contract, and I get the %. Make sense?  However THIS is where the "in perpetuity" problem that K.N. talked about in her blog post comes in. Do make sure that the agency is only receiving commission for what they actually sell, not on the book in any permutation in perpetuity. UNLIKE K.N., I have never actually seen this wording in an agency agreement, but I have no doubt that it sometimes exists.


3. Termination:  This will set forth how either party can "break up". It will probably say something like, you must notify the other party in writing (or possibly by registered mail). Some agencies, you are able to move on effective immediately,  BUT any and all work subbed by the first agent will continue to be repped by that agent. So, you can get a new agent tomorrow - but if we get an offer because of work that I did and a submission that I made, I will negotiate that contract and your new agent will have nothing to do with it.

At other agencies, there may be 30, 60 or even 90 days built in here where the agent can tie up loose ends, withdraw books that are on submission, and during which you would be obliged not to get new representation. This is just an additional guarantee that the agent will be protected should you decide to go rogue after they've made a sale for you. Make sure you understand what is involved if you decide you need to part ways with your agent. You don't want to cause bad blood, or worse, get in a situation where two agents feel they have claim over your work. If the agent is asking for longer than 30 days "leeway", I'd ask to shorten it.

Annnnnd... that's pretty much it. Pretty straightforward stuff. Again, some agencies might have NO formal agreement, or more clauses in their formal agreements, but none of it should baffle you, and if it does, that is what asking questions is for. There are a lot bigger and scarier contracts in your publishing future, so you need to know that your agent will be able to translate for you if necessary. Sometimes an agent might use shorthand or throw around jargon that you don't know. And yeah, Google will help, but when it comes to something as important as your career, as my lawyer parents taught me:

NEVER, EVER, SIGN SOMETHING WITHOUT READING AND UNDERSTANDING IT.

AND NEVER, EVER, BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS!

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Pants on Fire

Every year or two there is a story about a nonfiction writer who just made up a bunch of bullshit and called it his life story, or copied a bunch of info from other books without any attribution, or a fiction writer who lifted paragraphs or chapters from other books and called them her own.

We know that lying is wrong, and that copying other people's work is cheating. That's still covered in like, kindergarten, right? But still... writing a good book is HARD. And cheating can seem easy, and painless, by comparison. Particularly when there are thousands (or even millions) of dollars riding on your whipping up a good story on a deadline.

Publishers can't exactly compare every line of your book to every other book ever written, or make you take a lie detector test to prove you climbed the Himalayas that one time. But they do make you sign a contract. And that contract always includes a Warranties & Indemnities clause. This section is easy to gloss over because it doesn't contain any $$$ signs, but it is interesting and important to know about. Of course it will differ from publisher to publisher, and can get quite long and complex, but in general, it looks like this (LIBERALLY TRANSLATED):

a) You promise that you aren't plagiarizing this.  You haven't stolen any of it. You aren't committing libel.  This is not a violation of any obscenity laws.  This has never been published before.  You wrote this all by yourself and you have the right to publish this.  The book does not contain recipes or instructions for anything that might cause somebody harm.  ("Timmy read Magic Under Glass and learned how to bring the grandfather clock to life, and then it strangled him!")

b) You assure the publisher (and by extension anyone the publisher works with, foreign publishers, movie producers, whomever) that you really, really told the truth just now and they will not be sued for any reason because of something in your book.  If it turns out that you were lying about any of that stuff before, you have to pay the damages and attorney fees.  (Um, so don't lie.)

c) Provided that you DIDN'T lie before, you are covered under the publisher's insurance policy, so if for some reason you are sued, they will provide legal counsel and you are required to work with them to defend the case.  (Generally, if you also want to hire your own lawyer you can at your own expense, but the publisher's lawyer has to be in charge of the case.) You still might be liable for some expenses, but otherwise you are covered -- unless of course it comes out that you were lying about any of that stuff that you promised you didn't lie abut before, in which case the insurance is off, and your publisher will leave you to twist in the wind, and did you know that lawyers in New York are very expensive? They are. 

Aside from the financial burden, you will of course also ruin your reputation, and become a laughingstock and/or a pariah. Though it doesn't mean your career is necessarily over (bad pennies do keep turning up), people in publishing do loooooove to gossip, and media likes to get ahold of these stories when they are big, too, so it is safe to say that there will be repercussions far into the future.

Also, you will make your agent cry. :-(

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No, Really. Finish the Manuscript.

Twitter-Q: "[I] would love to know why a full mss is always required, it would save time and heartbreak to know five chapters in the book sucks"

I get variations on this pretty much every day, like so: "Do I have to finish my ms before querying?" Yes. "But ... do I REALLY have to finish my ms before querying?" Yes. "OK, but, let's say I query before I finish my ms..." Don't. "But it takes so long to get an agent, and I've got a good 50 pages finished..." Sigh.

See the thing is, I just can't critique your work, or tell you if you are wasting your time, or whatever. Really. I think you are great, but I can't help you with those things. It is not my job.

Sort of like, when the landscaper comes to your house, you don't show them into the attic and leave them there. (Well... I guess you might do that, but it would be super weird, and probably lead to a bad lawn and possibly a lawsuit.) It just... isn't their job to talk to you about insulation. They are outdoor folk.

I am not a critique partner. I am an agent. I take your (finished) manuscript, help you polish it, then play "matchmaker" and sell it to a publisher. So I am looking for a manuscript that I not only love, but that I think I can sell. I am not making a match between your random, unwritten notions and a publisher, much in the same way that modern matchmakers generally make the match between two consenting adults, and don't marry off unborn children. If you are sending me unfinished material, you are not even close to giving me what I am looking for, because I can't sell it.*


*This advice void if you are already well-published and/or famous.

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April Showers Open Thread

It's the top of the month which means that it is time once again for a brand-new open thread!

Have agentish questions? Need advice or encouragement? Want to talk about the new Sweet Valley High book?  Have wacky pet pix to share?  GO ON, THEN, COMMENT!

Short answers I will take care of in comments, longer ones may become blog-fodder.

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When Your Agent Isn't Feeling the Love

Q: I am agented and my agent has sold several books for me. But he told me last week that he really doesn't like my latest book and he doesn't think he can sell it. I don't know what my next step should be. I really like working with him and trust his opinion, but I have to say... I love this book and it might be my favorite thing I've written. And he hates it??? Ack. My confidence has really taken a hit. I'm freaked out. What do I do?

Oh sweetie, this is a tough one.

The fact of the matter is, no matter how sympatico a client and agent might be in terms of taste and and personality, there are bound to be some occasions where you don't quite see eye-to-eye. This is normal, and OK. Agents aren't always right... but by the same token, manuscripts aren't always good.

Sometimes your agent will advise you to drop a project because it is something that they think they cannot sell. Other times they are thinking of your career as a whole, and how this book might be problematic for you in a big picture way. Or they think that this particular effort is just not good enough, and they want you to always put your best foot forward. And of course, sometimes they simply don't get it, are dead wrong and missing the boat.

In any event, getting an agent was likely a relatively fraught process to begin with. You may have a lot of time invested in this relationship, and it isn't something you want to throw away. But you need your agent to be out there confidently representing you and your work, and if he HATES it... well, that's no good.

So I think you need to do a gut-check.

1) You adore this manuscript. Why? Do you love it so much because it is truly the best you've written, or is it a pet topic or theme that you might have an attachment to for some personal reason, but that other people may not "get"?

2) Have you shown it to trusted crit partners or beta readers? Ones who tell the truth? Have they also had reservations, or have they loved it as much as you do?

3) After a day (or three), having had the chance to calm down and breathe, have you had a heart-to-heart conversation with your agent? Does he ACTUALLY hate it, or were you over-reacting? Does he have a problem with the topic, or the execution, or does he object because he thinks it will be bad for your career, or what? Does he think it is unredeemable, or does he just think it needs some work and the problems he sees are possible to tweak with revision?

4) Would he be willing to at least shop it a few places, perhaps editors you've had close calls with in the past? Maybe if the book starts to get good feedback from editors he trusts, it will make the him feel more excited about the possibilities, and more comfortable sending it widely. Alternatively, maybe if the project gets BAD feedback, it will be enough to convince you to chill out on it for a while or rework it.

5) Do you really trust your agent? Do you think that he has generally good taste and good advice?

6) Are you willing to put this manuscript away for a while, or perhaps forever?

If the answers are YES this is really the best book you've written, YES your unbiased readers agree, YES you've had a talk with your agent, but NO he doesn't think you should bother revising, and NO he won't send it out, and most of all NO you don't trust his judgment and NO you aren't willing to set the book aside... well then it is time to part ways. I'm sorry. It's a sucky situation to be in.

But the good news is, if having to find a new agent is the worst thing in your world, you are lucky. And if your manuscript is really that damn-hell awesome, you'll have no problem getting a new agent.

Otherwise it is probably a good idea to work on something new and let this one rest for a while. Then later, try coming back to the project with fresh eyes. See if you still feel so strongly about it, and if any of your agent's comments made sense. Perhaps you will decide to revise, or if you can't revise it, maybe you can cannibalize it for parts. Whatever you do, remember that any manuscript you write, whether you sell it or not, is something you will learn and grow from as a writer. No manuscript is a waste.

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Tweet-a-Query Challenge & Conclusions

Earlier this evening, I issued a unique challenge to my tweeps: Tweet me a query, including type of project & a killer log-line, in less than 140 characters. The project could be real or fake - the challenge was to come up with something irresistible in the short space given.

An hour and literally hundreds of tweet-entries later, I've come to some conclusions. Of course this was just an exercise for fun, and some of these projects are jokes, but I think the lessons here are applicable to the regular query process too:

* You only have a few words. Use the right ones, and make them all count.

Transplantee Mishca's heart is not her own, now someone wants it back. Fight's on where she's most venerable - her dreams.-- Venerable? or Vulnerable?  Totally different meanings, totally different stories.

* When you introduce a bunch of foreign or peculiar words & names, the reader gets lost fast.  

Krishani brings war to Avristar and the girl he loves sacrifices herself to save him. Wait, what? Perhaps pick a word to tell us what kind of person (?) Krishani is, and what Avristar is, to ground us in the situation?

Can L`Arc live with Maria in happiness or will The Sodalis end it all again? -- Huh? Am I supposed to know what L'Arc or The Sodalis are?

* Remember that the book you sell today will probably not be released for a year or more.  

Tabby isn't a terrorist but when her bro blows up a genetics lab she might as well be. She's accused and in 2012 that = death. -- Really? 2012? Like, less than a year from now? I know it's an election year and all, but um...

* Premise is not the same as problem. Sometimes a unique enough premise can be enough to pique interest in a book (Werewolf Roller Derby!)... but usually we need a bit more than that.

 Eccentric family of inventors live in a zeppelin & fly around the world solving weather-related mysteries. -- OK, this is a setting, but so what? What happens? What is the problem? (And yes, I am interested in eccentric families, inventors, mysteries and zeppelins... but I still need to know that something happens in the book.) 

* Beware the List of Awesome  

A mashup of scifi, gaming, jedis, genetically enhanced heroes from space, a girl, an evil Mistress and a guy named Scrappy.  I am totally guilty of doing this "list of awesome things" pitch myself - and sometimes it works, particularly to set the scene or give a feeling of tone. But a list of awesome things, no matter how awesome they are, can't take the place of telling us what the problem is.

* Cliche is a shortcut, but it's also a crutch and your query will be stronger without it.

All Miah brought home from band trip was a hungry mosquito's gift of lycanthrophy. As if high school wasn't bad enough.  -- The first sentence was pretty hot, actually. But then the second ruined it. It would have been much better to introduce a specific reason or reasons why high school sucks for this kid, or to introduce it by saying what the kid EXPECTED to get out of Band Camp. ("Summer band camp was a break from getting slushee facials in the hall, but..." or "All he wanted from Band Camp was a shot with the sexy clarinet player, but instead...")  

* Don't Editorialize.

The heartwarming story of a Mathlete turned Sexpert. -- This is one of my clients books, full disclosure - and I think she is a great writer. But this is problematic as a pitch, primarily because of the "heartwarming story." Don't editorialize with "hilarious", "uproarious", "heartwarming", "pageturning", "unputdownable" or similar. Heartwarming? I'll be the judge of that. I'd have rather she used this space to tell us a tiny bit more about the Mathlete, or the Sexpert, or the setting, or what MAKES the Mathlete turn into a Sexpert.

 * It has to make sense. Beware derailing & straying too far from the point.  

4 new grads get first real jobs, find they can't cook, & set out to learn, while figuring out the mystery at work. -- I am not sure how any of these things have to do with the other. Is the problem that they can't cook and have to learn? What does that have to do with getting jobs? What mystery, and what does that have to do with cooking? They all work at the same place? Why didn't you say so? This leaves me with a lot of questions.

Taken by humans and made into a sex slave, 15 yrs old Effie struggles with PTSD and the deadly butterflies that consume her.  -- If she's taken by humans, that implies that she is NOT a human... so please tell me what she is. Does she have PTSD because of being taken and abused, or did she have it before? Are the deadly butterflies real, or imaginary? Are they literally consuming her? I am confused.

All that said, there were a few that made me crack up (Dude Looks Like M'Lady made me laugh for like, a full minute) -- and a lot of really fun sounding entries. These were my favorite, and I am going to let YOU guys vote on the winner. Please pick one (1) of the following & vote in comments or by tweet. Winner gets something nice:

1. BLOOD OF WOLVES is a reverse Beauty and the Beast tale set in a pre-steampunk world of ice, alchemy and monsters. 
2. Boy finds blank book, when he touches it it fills with his life story. Will he commit to his destiny or rewrite it? 
3. 12yo overachiever leads world's worst boy scouts in earning toughest merit badge yet - saving the world from alien invasion.
4. A student at one of the most competitive schools in Paris by day, a jewel thief on the city rooftops by night.
5. Werewolf Roller Derby. Splitting hairs, bones and wheels for the sake of the pack.

ETA: Based on extremely scientific polling data here and on twitter (ahem), WE HAVE WINNERS - #3 is the winner, #5 is the runner up. Books are on their way! Wooohooo! :D JL

 

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My Kinks

These are elements of a story that I am a total sucker for. I do love regular old contemporary YA and middle grade stories too, and I love plenty of stories that have NONE of these elements -- but these are my (not-so-secret) kinks. Seriously - if any of these are present I am almost guaranteed to like the book/movie/tv show/story, or at least give it a huge chance.

TIME PERIODS / SETTINGS:

* Regency / Victorian / Edwardian Era - UK, Europe and US (1811-1910)

* WW1 / between the wars / WW2 / Blitz / Relocated Children - England

* 1920's - 1940's USA (especially Hollywood & NYC)

* Wiemar-era Berlin  (or anything with German Expressionist flavor)

* British Raj / Partition India

* Boarding School / Prep School / Drama School

* Secret Societies / Insular Groups different from "norm" society

* Ensemble Performance / Behind the Scenes - in other words, the reality behind busy restaurant, theatre, hotel, newspaper, sports team, movie set, etc.

ELEMENTS / PEOPLE:

* Girls Dressed as Boys / Drag Queens / Dandies / Disguises / Secret Identities / Cross-dressing

* Makeovers

* Fashion Shows / Modeling / Clothes & Fabric

* Star is Born / Rags to Riches stories (Or even better: Riches to Rags to Riches, a la Little Princess)

* Theatre / Circus / Vaudeville or other Artist/performer

* The Olympics / Olympic-level training (esp: Skating, Gymnastics and similar 'artistic' solitary sports)

* Charismatic Older Men Taking Care of Young Girls and Vice-Versa (think: The Professional, Daddy Long-Legs, Paper Moon, True Grit -- or, Bela Karolyi & Nadia Comeneci)

* Con Artists / Art Fraud / Grifters / Mafia

* Prostitutes / Dance-Hall Girls / Rough Trade

* Gypsies / Fortune Tellers

* Servants / Butlers / Governesses "goings on below stairs" stories

* Assassins / Spies / Sleuths / Genius Problem Solvers (Sherlock, Dr. Who, Jeeves)

* Golems / Manikins / Androids / Humanoids / Automatons

--

What about you? What are the 'kinks' that you tend to go for in a story?

ETA: I am cheating - my client Jackie Dolamore did her own post on the subject, and I want to take all of her answers too!  LOVE!

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No Fighting, No Biting

In case you have been snoozing in a sunny hammock for a week (in which case, may I say a hearty grrr to you), you've probably noticed rumblings about the supposed "YA Mafia." I am totally not going to get into it here, as it has been pretty well discussed and dissected by everyone everywhere, and the topic is done as far as I'm concerned.  YA Highway has a great roundup in case you missed any of the kerfuffle and are still interested.

One sort of side-tangent that has been mentioned by a few folks is the rumor that AN AGENT WON'T TAKE YOU ON IF YOU PUBLICLY HATE THEIR CLIENTS WORK.  Am I missing something? This doesn't seem like a threat, it seems like a very obvious and non-scandalous fact to me.

But the reaction I'm reading seems to be that such agents are obviously short-sighted, crazy, "in the pay of the YA Mafia", idiots, etc etc. 

Uhh...

I'm extremely passionate about any book I rep. I LOVE IT.

Besides the author themselves, I was probably the first person to be a total champion for the book. I've read it many times, sometimes over the course of years. I might have helped edit it, or at least thought about it hard, possibly through multiple drafts. In some way, maybe a big way or maybe a small, I helped that book be what it is. I am quite proud of them; each book really means a great deal to me.

If you love my books too, we might have very similar taste. The chances are good that if you are an excellent writer, with taste similar to mine, we might be a very good fit.

If you love some but are ambivalent about others, or like a couple but are "meh" about some, or even thought some were fine but privately disliked a couple, hey, that's cool, not everyone can like everything, everyone has their own opinion, that's what makes the world go round. (Well that and like, science.)

But if you totally hate a book of mine, like seriously detest, and have gone out of your way to slam it publicly...why would you even want me as an agent?

Your agent is your partner, hopefully for many years and through many successes (and yes, often failures as well.) You will be talking to them quite a lot. You have to be able to trust that they understand and "get you."

Your agent also needs to trust that his or her clients are relatively stable, happy, and not going to turn on each other or start getting into online (or real life!) monkey knife fights with one another. Drama creates a hostile work environment for all and can escalate to toxic levels quickly, which results in a loss of productivity, which results in a loss of money. Feh. Not for me, thanks. I would rather have fun, sell lots of books, and make money.  Wouldn't you?

You will also more than likely be in situations where you are in a group of your fellow-clients, out at a dinner, at a conference, or a school visit, or on a retreat. These are your colleagues, again, hopefully for many years. If you totally hate their work... ugh, awkward!  Why would you possibly want to knit your future together with people you hold in contempt?

Basically, if you loathe the books I represent, we clearly have very different taste. That isn't bad or good -- it's just a fact. Pick an agent who seems to like the same kind of stuff you do. Obvious, right?



*ETA: I am not suggesting that people should not blog, or be honest, or censor themselves, or anything of the kind.  I have book bloggers as clients.  Go forth and blog!  I am just saying, you put out into the world what you want to get back.  You can't say you HATE something, but then turn around and want to be just like that thing. 

Like, I like gold, and I like lemon yellow, and I like orange, but I hate certain shades of the color yellow (to wit: Goldenrod). Seriously. Worst. Color. Ever. I've said it on my blog, and I will say it to anyone who asks. I'd say it to Yellow's face. I am not allowed to be surprised if Yellow doesn't hire me as its spokesperson.

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Facebook Stuff

Hey there -- For those of you who are interested in keeping up with ALL SORTS of news about my authors (from interviews, upcoming events, new book releases, book reviews etc) - and want to know when my upcoming conferences and similar are - I've started a Facebook page just for that purpose.

This way my friends and family won't have to read about my work all the time, and people who want book news won't have to wade through baby pictures and such. ;-)

Yes, big stuff will probably still show up in my personal Facebook, and on this very blog, but The Page will be really specifically a catch-all location. So clients, if you have news to share, let me know and I will post it!

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Link Roundup

There have been a lot of goings-on lately - time for a LINK ROUNDUP!

A totally phenomenal review of the reissue of Lizard Music by Daniel Pinkwater, from B&N Review.

Should you be blogging to help your writing career? Or is it a big waste of time?

A lengthy interview with me at the wonderful Shrinking Violets blog, about self-promotion, introversion and more.

A slightly more goofy interview at the Middle Grade Ninja, with fave movies and more - as well as what I am looking for.

If your local Borders is closing, you might take a look at this list of nearby indie bookstores.

Finally (and perhaps most importantly) - 22 Manly Ways to reuse an Altoids Tin - from tiny bbq to electronics lab!

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Namedropping in Picture Books

Q: What is the general rule regarding naming movies, song titles, book titles in a manuscript? For example, in a PB manuscript, mentioning that the MC loves to pretend she's Fancy Nancy or reads Madeline?

It can be OK to namedrop characters, movies, songs (provided you aren't quoting directly from songs, or if you are, you have the proper permission) in a middle grade or YA. I can think of dozens of examples of main characters who are bookworms, for example, and who reference real books that they've read.

Picture books are a different story.

I assume you'd be using these examples as a sort of shorthand way to show the sort of kid your character is.  To me, this shorthand of referencing somebody else's character almost feels like cheating; you've let the other author do the heavy lifting on characterization. Plus, what if the actual young readers enjoying your book haven't gotten to Fancy Nancy or Madeline yet? The shorthand won't work for those kids, and you'll have lost them.

Even more importantly, though, picture books are just... sooo... short. Most that sell nowadays are less than 500 words long. The picture book is like a very small, very well lit stage. Every single word has to mean something and be there for a reason, because every single word will be measured and judged and tweaked and pondered over. There is no room for anything extra, any word that is not moving the book forward or in some way doing work.

You are creating your very own tiny world here, and you have so very little room to spare... why drag somebody else's world into it?

That's my opinion. Doubtless I am forgetting some big huge example that will prove me wrong. Readers, can you think of any examples of picture books that have referenced real movies, songs or picture books by other authors (in the text, not in the illustrations) successfully?

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March Madness Open Thread

OK so I am done with February. I know there are a couple days left, but I can't take it anymore, I'm calling it a wrap. 

Also I want to amuse myself, and I'll be away from home when March actually begins. SO. I call upon you, dear readers, to divert my attention with whatever you like. Agentish questions for me to answer.  Funny pictures of animals. Good news.  Jokes.  And more agentish questions for me to answer!

I'll handle questions in the comments, unless they require a LONG answer, in which case, I'll do a post about them. 

Forward, March!

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Thank you

Thank you everyone for your wonderfully warm condolences and for posting your memories of LK Madigan. It has been really amazing to see how much she touched so many people - a fact that I knew intellectually, but didn't really process until I was able to see the flood of posts from all corners of the writing and reading world.

Lots of folks have asked how they may help Lisa's family.

A trust fund has been established to benefit Lisa's son; donations may be sent to the Nathan Wolfson Trust, c/o Becker Capital Management, 1211 SW Fifth Ave., Suite 2185, Portland, OR 97204.

Her husband Neil posted this info on her blog; I know that any donations would be extremely appreciated.

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