Saturday, March 31, 2012

Cheers to the Blue Board

Every time I go to a writers conference, I give the same advice to newbie kids book authors:

Read read read. Have patience. Don't follow trends. Join SCBWI if you are able. And FIND VERLA KAY!


Don't know what that last one means?

Verla Kay is a writer. You can find her books in libraries and bookstores near you. But she is also an extremely generous kid's book maven who started and maintains (with the help of a handful of hard-working moderators) simply THE BEST resource for children's book writers on the web. It's a message board extraordinaire, filled to bursting with extremely knowledgeable writers, illustrators, and yes, agents and editors and kids book experts of all types and at all levels who are game for dishing, advice, and general camaraderie. We in the know call it the Blue Board, or Verla's, or "verlakay."

I really shouldn't even be telling you this because it'll probably cause an influx to the board but... you're all nice folks, yes? And you are really serious about being children's book writers? And you're all very respectful of one another? Because that is what flies at Verla's.

What doesn't fly? Trolling. Spam. Flaming. Political or religious convos. You'll certainly be able to get writing advice, or a chance to share your query, or publishing insider info. You'll be able to discover average agent response times, or conduct an informal poll about tween slang. You may get a little boost of inspiration when you're feeling low, or even indulge in erudite discourse about literary themes... but you'll never get into a flame war, because it simply is not allowed to happen there. Personally, I find that extremely refreshing, and so for me (and for lots of similar-minded people) Verla's is a bit of a sanctuary.

I've been on the boards since March 2007 -- well before I became an agent (though I was already interning for an agency). I've checked in pretty much every day during those five years, except the rare days when I had no computer access. In fact, though I probably shouldn't admit to this, according to the stats, I've been logged in for a whopping 59 days. Yikes! (But that's because some days I stay logged in all day on one screen and check in a bunch and read a million topics... other days I just scan quickly to see if anything is new. But I always look. And there is invariably something there every day that I find interesting, or that brings a smile.)

There are many reasons to LOVE THE BLUEBOARD... not the least of which, for me, is that I have a ton of clients at least partly because of it. We MIGHT have met another way, if the Blue Boards didn't exist... but it would have been tougher. LK Madigan, Kate Messner, Daniel Pinkwater, Jackie Dolamore, Tara Kelly, to name a few... these amazing and brilliant talents were among my first batch of authors to sign, and while I met some of them on LiveJournal too back in the day, I know I can trace much of our early relationship right back to Verla Kay's message board or chat room.

Not because I was creepily hanging waiting to snag people based on their posted query letters, or anything like that... it isn't like those "modeling agencies" that hang out at the mall looking for tweens!  Joining the Blue Boards won't get you "discovered" -- it just isn't like that. Rather, it's a place to be genuinely engaged with awesome writers, have great conversations with them, and develop mutual respect and trust.

I'd say that the OVERWHELMING majority of the queries I get from Verla Kay members are in the top 10% of all the queries I read. Verla Kay members are also 90% more likely to follow submission guidelines. Were those  totally made up statistics? YES, but they made the point. Verla Kay members are not chumps off the street - they are more likely to be serious business, and I, for one, take them seriously. (Which is why, if you are a BlueBoarder, you should definitely mention it when you query me!)

So I said I have tons of clients because of the Blue Board... but the truth is, I also have loads of friends because of it, both in real life, and "virtually." Even when I was in Italy last week, I met BlueBoarders, and it was like we were old pals even though we had never met one another before. It was pretty awesome, not gonna lie!

OK, OK, I GET IT JENNIFER, YOU LIKE THE BLUE BOARD.

I do. And I think you might, too. Join us, won't you?

And don't forget, the more thoughtfully and constructively you post, the more of the message board you see... So be nice, and join the conversations! :-)

Friday, March 30, 2012

Putting Reversion Before the Horse

darrellcurts asked: I know I am getting way, way, WAY ahead of myself considering I do not have an agent or publisher but, how long should an agent and/or publisher contract run? What should be the thresholds for rights reverting?

I can’t speak for all agency agreements, but ours is open-ended - in other words, it lasts until either the agent or the author terminates it. Other agencies may do a year-by-year agreement, or book-by-book. And even after termination, the agent who sold your book is generally the agent of record for that book as long as it is in print.

Publisher contracts vary. Most domestic book contract terms are “for the life of the book” — the book considered out of print if sales fall below a certain number of units sold. Let’s say, totally arbitrary example, “if sales of less than 250 units, in any format, in two consecutive accounting periods, and publisher has notified author they do not intend to reprint.” kind of thing (those numbers btw, totally made up, every publisher is different.)

Some other types of contracts - say, subsidiary rights such as foreign language, apps, audio — or permissions (like a test company wants to use an excerpt of the book on the SATs) may be for a set period of time - such period varies, perhaps 5 or 10 years, depending, and they have to get permission again if they want to keep producing it past that window of time.

What SHOULD be the thresholds for rights reverting? When the publisher is not printing new copies of the book, the book is no longer selling, and nobody is making money off it. In MY opinion, at that point, rights should be reverted easily. Sadly, some publishers are real pains on this subject and want to cling to the rights even after the clearly defined threshold has been crossed, and make you wait six months or more, then say ‘no no we are going to make an ebook you can’t have the rights back’ etc etc… NOT THAT I AM BITTER OR ANYTHING. *cough*

Sunday, March 11, 2012

New ASK AGENT Situation

Hey there kids --

So as you may have noticed, I didn't do an open thread this month. (You may also NOT have noticed, in which case I feel slightly awkward bringing it up! But oh well).

There are a few reasons, but the most important is, the comments on this blog are being wonky as heck, I have tried fixing a dozen times, and I don't have the time or energy to figure it out, so... ugh. The way we had it set up before just isn't working anymore.


THEREFORE, I have decided to resurrect my long-dormant Tumblr account for a sort of "running ask agent."

I can't promise to answer everything -- but I will take a stab at most things. And particularly fascinating questions, I may bring over here to the blog to spend more time answering.

So. Agentish, bookish, or life questions for me?  ASK ON THE TUMBLR.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Fab Feb Open Thread

I was blotting the fact that it is already FEBRUARY out of my mind, but here we are. 2012 just got real. And in celebration of a new month, we're going to do what we do EVERY month... have an Ask the Agent open thread!

Publishing questions? Zany pet pictures to share? Want to vent about something? Need love advice or help picking a college or placing a bet? Want to know what you should eat for dinner? WHATEVER. It's YOUR THREAD. Just play nicely.

Shorter answers I will do in comments, longer ones may require their own blog post.

Moderation is in place so if I am away from my desk, it may take a bit of time for questions to appear. I will stop answering in a couple of days, or when I get sick of it, whichever comes first.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Fine Art of Zipping It, or XYZ PDQ

Look, I keep my private life private, but let's just put it this way: I am a city girl. I have lots of different kinds of friends, with lots of different kinds of private lives, and some of them are quite expressive about them. I am friends with people who are dancers and actors and drag queens and sex therapists and racy comedians and wild-eyed-probably-high college students, and all sorts of things in between. The content that they post on social networks reflects that, and that's just great. 

I'm also friends with lots and lots of writers. Some of them are semi-insane ranting penmonkeys, or sassy romance or YA authors. Sometimes they post things that make me blush a bit... and THAT'S fine too. But writers or not, what do all these people have in common? The tone of their social media content reflects the tone of their work.

Now of course they might be MORE conservative in social media than they are in their work, but they are rarely more salacious. In other words... a YA novelist may choose to tweet about breakfast, or she may choose to tweet about pop culture or politics or any other dang thing that one talks about in public... but she probably won't start tweeting naked pics.  An burlesque dancer might tweet about all of those things including burlesque-pics... but she probably won't start tweeting links to snuff films.  

Personally, my blog is pretty much exactly how I would talk to my boss, or an editor, or a client, or my mom, mild cursing and all... nobody is going to get a big shock or be disturbed if they read the blog and then meet me, because the tone of my social media reflects the tone of my work.

So consider this a public service announcement.

If you are an author of children's books, could you please not post raunchy comments and explicit posts on your public social media sites?  Come on now. This isn't your private living room. You've followed me, and maybe I like the looks of your book, or maybe I've already read and liked it. You've followed a host of other booksellers and librarians and teachers, editors and agents, readers and potential fans.  Why did you follow those folks? So they'd get to know you and your book, right? So they'd help you promote it, bring it into their library, read it at storytime, put it in a kids hand? So that maybe they might want to buy or read (or rep! or publish!) the next one? Of course.

So you know very well that you are talking to not just your friends, but to a group of people who work with kids and/or kids books all day long. Do you seriously think I, or any one of those other professional children's book people, will want to bring you in for an event, or tell the marketing team about you, or otherwise promote your picture book when we know you are making comments about the looks of 16 year old "jailbait" on youtube, publicly bemoaning your erectile dysfunction on facebook, instagramming pictures of your rum-soaked bachelorette party, posting unfunny pedophilia jokes on your blog, or talking about MILFS at a school event on Twitter? Do you imagine a PARENT would see all this and give your book to their KID? Are you nuts? 

Seriously. If you want a locked twitter or a private facebook for just you and your wild hockey team pals or fellow members of your Bad Medicine cover band or Mile High Ladies Fan Club or whatever, go for it, and god bless. 

But if you have a public account on which you are promoting your work for children, and you are friending/following readers, teachers, librarians and publishing professionals, use your dang noodle. And not THAT noodle, mister.

"But Jennifer, that is CENSORSHIP!"  -- nope, I think it's actually just common sense. "But we're all ADULTS! Little kids aren't reading my facebook posts!"  -- sure, that's true. So if you're truly passionate about a topic, go for it. I would just suggest that if it is content that could not be printed in a newspaper, you're probably on the wrong track. I think of public social media like a cocktail party with colleagues and your boss... not a bachelor party with drinking buddies and a hooker. 

What do you guys think? Am I hopelessly conservative and out of touch?  I don't think so, but I am interested in other points of view.   

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

OMG 2012 Open Thread

HOW is it 2012 already?!  WoWza.  IT'S THE FUTURE.

And... it's time for another Open Thread!

You know the drill, kids -- ask me questions. They  can be agentish, bookish, or anything else your curious little heart desires. If I can answer, I will, in the comments. If it is a longer answer, I may make a blog post about it.  When I get sick of answering (in a couple days probably), I'll shut it down.

Have fun, and play nice!

Monday, November 28, 2011

It's Not the End of the World.

Q: HELP. I am scared my agent is about to drop me. WHAT DO I DO?

I gave basically this answer to somebody on a message board recently but realized that I get a variation on this question all the time. So let's tackle it here.

The fact that you are asking a stranger about this is a bad sign, to be honest. To me, it means you don't have a good enough relationship with your agent to have a frank conversation with her.

Either:

A) You are right, she is not jazzed about your book anymore (or your next book, or whatever it is) -- in which case you need to TALK TO HER and find out what the problem is, and if she has lost faith in your book you need to find out why and discuss the possibility of revisions, or tell her the other awesome idea you have up your sleeve, or part ways with her, or SOMETHING. But nothing will get accomplished if you don't talk to her. You sound like you are stuck in a rut right now, and something needs to change for you to move forward. Or...

B) You are being a neurotic stressball (common in the writer community) and you need to TALK TO HER and realize that she still adores your work and is waiting until after the holidays, or is swamped and not being the communicator she should be, or SOMETHING, but again, you can't find that out unless you talk to her. She is probably not psychic and will not know you are upset unless you tell her.

If you haven't had a conversation about your fears with her, ask yourself why. Is it because she is hiding from you? Or because you are avoiding saying what is on your mind? In my opinion, not communicating what you need and expecting somebody else to just magically know it it is not just passive, it's passive aggressive, and it is a sure way to sabotage yourself.

If you have the conversation you might both end up pumped, re-energized and ready to do another round, or see what happens next.

But if by chance she does end up dropping you (OR vice versa)... it won't be the end of the world. In fact, you might find it a blessing in disguise. Even if you really like somebody as a person, you don't want them as an agent if they aren't excited about your work. And you certainly don't want to work with somebody you don't trust enough to talk to.

For a bit of inspiration -- and this is for ALL writers -- I link you to this post I liked by THE INTERN on Nova Ren Suma's blog. (Actually all the inspiration posts on that blog are great). I urge you to remember that seriously, in the grand scheme of things, all this neurotic crazymaking stuff that is so easy to tear your hair out over? Really... just... doesn't... matter. Stop obsessing and freaking out, take a big deep breath of fresh air, and be brave. 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Exclusives on Slush? Oh Hell No.

Paraphrased from a ton of queries:

"I'm sending this to you exclusively. You're the only agent to see this because I know we're such a great fit!"

My (short) response: 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

My (long) response:

What are you, NUTS?  

Even if you read my twitter, follow my blog, have met me in real life - you don't know me. You don't know how much time I have, or what other people already on my list are currently in the midst of writing. I reject 99% of what I get. Even if you ARE the 1%... I'll be the judge of that, thanks. Don't presume we are "such a great fit" that you are willing to sabotage your own career on that basis. 

Yes, giving exclusives when they aren't requested IS sabotaging your own career. 

An agent or editor may take weeks, or months, to get back to you. Frankly, they may never get back  to you. They quite rightly prioritize authors that they are actually working with, and some have policies of "no response means no." 

You might think that an "exclusive" will make me speed up. Nope. I read queries in the order I get them. When I get to your slush query a month after you've sent it, that is the first time I have ever seen your name, and you say something like "this is an exclusive submission" -- but why? I had no idea! I didn't ask for that! You were seriously going to wait a month, two months, or FOREVER?? And then send it to one more person? And wait a month or two months or FOREVER??? Noooo!  You will be like Rip Van Winkle at the end of it all. 

And let's say you DO get a favorable response? Let's say I read it and love it and offer. Well great. But you have no idea if I am actually the agent who will love it best. Or let's say that editor says "OK! I'll buy it." But... you have no idea if other offers would be better, and no leverage to improve the offer. Argh. 

I'm sorry to be so keyed up, I am obviously emotionally invested in this. But... I really really REALLY want authors to give themselves a fair shake. I think exclusives are a poor idea and BAD FOR YOU. 

These are the times to give exclusives: 
* When you already work with an editor, and enjoy them, it is totally appropriate to give them the "first crack" at your new work.  
* When you already work with an editor, and this is a project that they have asked for specifically - a sequel, or another work set in the same world as your first, or they've asked you for a book on a specific topic, for example.
* When the agent or editor has worked with you extensively, and given you tons of specific editorial feedback, and has asked you to revise and indicated that they WANT to read it again, and you have revised the book specifically FOR THEM. Then it is totally appropriate to give an exclusive on that version of the manuscript, for a window of time. But all of those factors have to be in play. And you have to TELL the editor or agent that they have x-number of weeks to look. After that point, you are quite free to send the material to other people. 
You notice how NONE of those times are "when you are a slush puppy and nobody knows who you are yet"?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Holiday Gift Giving - Agent Edition

Q: I have an agent I love, although she's not had success (yet?!) selling my book. The ever important question: what is appropriate for an author to do for her agent at the holidays? Just a card? A gift? What kind of gift? These are the things that keep me up at night! Thanks.

May seem silly to some, but I get this question with surprising frequency, so I am going to pull on my white gloves for an etiquette lesson.

Your agent needs and expects nothing for the holidays. You are under NO obligation to spend money or time on gifts your agent for holidays, or at any time of year. Even if you and your agent are friendly... even, in fact, if you and your agent are friends.

If you are the card-sending "type" and sending cards is already on your agenda -- go ahead and send a card. That's nice. But don't go out of your way to do it if you are not "cardish" by nature. Otherwise, an e-card, or just simple greetings in regular correspondence, such as you might give to anyone you do business with, are of course polite. You may not know what, if any, holidays your agent celebrates... so I'd suggest keeping it to a neutral "happy holidays", "happy new year" etc, unless you know for a FACT that your agent is a practicing member of a specific religion. (I usually say "stay warm!")

If you have a book deal to celebrate, or if you just love to give gifts and you REALLY WANT to give your agent a present, I'd suggest keeping it small - no need to go overboard. Perhaps something bookish, or some cool token related to your book. If you are an illustrator, a small piece of art would be beyond lovely. If she works in an office with other people, some nice chocolates or cookies to share, or a special snack from your region. If you know she likes a certain kind of coffee or booze, some of that would be appreciated (provided it is not too pricey). Your agent will be delighted to receive a gift... but again, she is NOT going to be expecting one, nor will she be disappointed if one does not come.

DON'T buy something lavish, particularly if your book has not yet sold. (If your book sold for a million bucks, by all means splurge on the luxe cashmere scarf or golden phone case... but if your book hasn't sold yet and you are barely holding down a job at Dairy Queen, it will make your agent worry. You want your gift to inspire delight, not concern.)

DON'T send perishable items to the office over the holiday break - nothing quite so gross as a box of decomposing pears leaking onto your desk when you come back from vacation. So make sure you find out when the office will be closed, or if there is a better address. I'd also steer away from things that have a scent (perfumes and soaps), and items of clothing that have a size.

DO remember that people go out of town and offices are closed over the holidays. Check for the best address before sending.

DO Let common sense be your guide. And DON'T worry!

Monday, October 17, 2011

No from one, No from all... REALLY?

 Q: I know that some agencies are a "no from one is a no from all", but... what if I want to query more than one of the agents anyway? I mean, different people like different things, you're always saying this business is subjective, why not? And who ever got successful without bending a few rules, anyway, particularly dumb and arbitrary ones?
I feel like I have probably answered this before, but what the heck. Forgive me, loyal readers, if you've read this info before.

My agency is a "no from one means no from all" agency. We provide lots of info about each agent on our website so that hopefully you can target your submissions. We really do share material.

One of the biggest agency-wide peeves is when people query multiple of us at the same time, or "shotgun query" us one after the other. We really do share work with each other - both the good and the bad - and while simply sending to one of us is not a guarantee that your work will get passed around... if it is memorable, it will. And then, yanno... WE'LL REMEMBER IT. Because it is MEMORABLE.

If you query an agent and she is into your work, and she brings it into a meeting to share, then she realizes that one or more of her colleagues is also looking, she'll likely be irritated. I know I would be. We all have pretty full client rosters as it is, and if we love something, we want to be able to offer on it unimpeded. You are making the relationship fraught and weird from the outset, and you've proved from the outset that you don't follow the simplest of directions. Not a good start. We aren't going to fight with each other over you, so we'll probably all end up rejecting you. You've wasted all of our time, and your opportunity with the agency.

If you got a full request and you got notes and the agent really put time into it, she will likely be irritated if you then turn around and approach another agent at the agency. Anyway, I know I would be. She is already invested in you to an extent. At the very least, give her the opportunity to look at your next ms, or a revised version of this one if you used her notes to revise. She doesn't have to say yes -- but it is courteous to ask. Something like "I edited this extensively using your insightful feedback as a springboard for the revision. I truly feel this is a better, stronger manuscript for the work. Would you be open to taking another look, and if not, may I query one of your colleagues perhaps?"  She'll probably say yes, or give you leave to query somebody else at the agency. She might even pass the ms to that person herself.

If, however, you got rejected (and especially if it was a "no response") at the query stage, and you think your query might not have even gotten a second glance, and you want to query another agent at the agency too, there is a way:

* WAIT several months after the rejection, or after the "no response" time-frame is up (3-6 months would be appropriate)

* REVISE both your query and your work during that time

* BE HONEST in your next query. "I queried Jenn Laughran with an earlier version of this manuscript back in the spring and got no response. Since then I have revised significantly and I feel it is a much stronger work..."

It's like Stop, Drop and Roll... but hopefully less flammable. Remember it.

Good luck!

Friday, September 30, 2011

ROCKTOBER Open Thread

Hey kids,

I realize that I never did one of these bad boys for September... whoopsie! I guess we all need a break from the usual routine now and again.

I'm spending the next few days getting ready for a big conference in Texas next weekend (yeehaw!) and generally reading and puttering and such - but in the meantime, I figure, why not answer some questions? WHY NOT INDEED.

So if you have agentish - publishingish - bookish - booksellerish - doggish - or whatever other questions, feel free to posit them to me here. Short answers I will deal with in comments, some long ones might be selected for their very own blog post.

Yay!

Monday, September 26, 2011

More about Contests

First of all, don't forget that the contest to win a full set of BRILLIANT FALL OF GIANNA Z is open until 8pm tonight. Get on it, kids!

Also, a pal pointed out this fun-looking contest from MeeGenius:

MeeGenius* is a picture book app for the iPhone, iPad, iTouch, Google TV, and the web. They're a fast-growing company, and in addition to publishing original digital picture books, one of their goals is to become a community for children's book writers and illustrators; a place for them to get to know each other, learn more about publishing, exchange ideas, and get published online! To that end, they're launching a "Book Challenge," and are inviting writers to submit manuscripts. Here's a link to their announcement page.

My POV on contests is pretty much, don't think of it like "this is my chance to get published!" or in any way taking the place of the work you are doing toward being published in a traditional way. That would be like just playing the lotto instead of getting a job. Fun, perhaps, but not a great way to get the rent paid on time.

Personally, I think of contests like this as just pure fun. At worst, it's a bit of a timewaster - at best, it could be a neat opportunity for people looking to get into the children's book world to become involved, learn from their peers, and get exposure. Plus, looks like the prizes are pretty sweet. Good luck!


*(Although every time I see the word "MeeGenius" I have to say it in this voice...)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Tumblog About Books

So I've resisted the siren call of Tumblr for a while, but... I realized that I want a place to specifically talk about books that are NOT "my books." To just plain recommend stuff that I love, but that are off-topic for this blog.

And you might get a sense of my taste if you take a look at the types of books I read and enjoy when I am NOT working. I try to read pretty widely, but there are definitely some trends that I find cropping up as I make lists of what to review. (Do keep in mind, though I review grownup books on the tumblr, I still only rep kids & YA books.)

Anyway, enjoy, comment, feel free to recommend titles to me (though my reading time is pretty limited) - I am always curious to hear what people are loving! :D


http://literaticat.tumblr.com/

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Not ALL about the Benjamins...

From Twitter: "[I] stopped reading a blog after the 2nd sentence, "being an agent is less about art and more about money." tell me it's not true"
Actually I think that is accurate.

The statement isn't "being an agent is NOT about art and ONLY about money." That would not be true. After all, most agents probably become agents at least in part because they love books and reading and thinking about books and talking about books. So art comes into it.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I take on projects that I love...but I have to also that I think that I can sell them, otherwise it isn't worth my time. Seriously. Taking on a new project is a major commitment of time, energy and mental bandwidth, and I don't get paid unless I sell the thing. So from a purely self-interested standpoint, certainly, money matters.

And it SHOULD.

You aren't getting an agent to be a critique partner (though some give great critiques). You aren't getting an agent to be your editor (though some are great at editing.) You aren't getting an agent because they are a great writer (though many are.) You aren't getting an agent just so they'll hang around praising you all day and telling you how rad you are (though my clients ARE rad, for the record!)

You are getting an agent to handle business for you. To sell your projects well and make sure you get paid. To negotiate for you. To be a bully on your behalf. To support you and your career in many ways, but particularly in all matters business related.

So, less about art, more about money? 

Unashamedly so.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

So, What If Your Book Doesn't Sell?

There's a piece in The Millions today that got under my skin a bit: "Shutting the Drawer: What Happens When a Book Doesn't Sell?"

First of all, I don't think the author of this essay needs to have to have the funeral service for her book quite yet. Nine months is a long-ish time, but it isn't actually a LONG time. Particularly if there are warm responses from editors - why not tweak the book and try another round, for crying out loud? Sheesh. But whatever, that is between her and her agent.

This goes out to the rest of you.

Thing is... and I am not sure there is a gentle way to say this, but... just because you want to be published, doesn't mean you automatically get to be. Not even if you are super smart. Not even if you are super smart and SPECIAL. Not even if you have lots of published friends or an MFA or a great agent or whatever.

Maybe your book hasn't sold because you just haven't found the right editor yet. Or MAYBE your book hasn't sold because it just isn't good enough. So REVISE, or write another, better, book.

Sometimes books don't sell. Sometimes they take a long time to sell. I've sold books after YEARS of trying. A recent agency book was sold after 4 years of submission and 45+ editor rejections, and now has starred reviews and is going places. It happens, it really does.

Sometimes you have to revise them before they sell... or revise them again. Sometimes you have to take a break and come back later with fresh eyes. Sometimes you have to shelve it and then cannibalize that book for parts. Sometimes you have to shelve it and move on. Sometimes you have to shelve it and move on... more than once.

I've said it before: first books are very often like first pancakes. Sort of a mess. A shame to waste food, but if they are not in servable condition, you have to throw them away. Or better yet, eat them yourself while you cook better ones.

The good news is, those ugly books aren't a waste. You'll be a better writer because you wrote them. The only way to learn to be a writer is to WRITE. The only way to learn to write novels is to write some novels. That doesn't mean they should all be published - but it also doesn't mean that they weren't worth writing. I have never heard of somebody becoming a WORSE writer with practice.

If the book that doesn't sell is the book that taught you how to be a better writer, it was worth spending time, blood, sweat & tears on.

Now keep going!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Scamsters Want YOU

While going through some of my childhood stuff on a recent house-move, I found a photo album full of pictures I'd cut out of trashy teen star magazines when I was in elementary school. I remember poring over these rags with my friends, reading them from cover to cover, even the ads in the back.

Draw Tippy the Turtle and you could go to Art School! Find true love by calling this number! Have your fortune told over the phone!


Of course we never FELL for any of them... until... Amazing weight loss tricks & glamour model lessons, and if you order now, FREE French Sunglasses!

Well obviously we wanted this. I mean, hello. We were 10 year old girls, the promise of glamour was catnip to us. But $15.99 or whatever it was was way out of reach. Unless we all put our money together... so we did. And I sent off the form, and the money. And we waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. NOTHING.

Now, I wasn't a stupid kid. I knew that the "secret" to losing weight was to eat healthy food and do more exercise. I knew that models worked hard, were genetically blessed, and generally older than fifth grade. But... I REALLY REALLY WANTED THOSE GLAMOUR LESSONS. Weeks passed. Nothing. Seeds of doubt were planted in my heart. Months passed. I wrote them a letter. Nothing. I wrote them a FANCY letter on my mom's lawyer stationery.

Finally, one day! Six months later! An envelope! A dirty, thin envelope. With... a crummy, illegible quarter-page flyer in it with some smeary fake "model tips." I was crushed. And bitter. And mostly, just so, so embarrassed. HOW could I have been so dumb? And I'd not only spent my own money, but also had to explain to my friends that I'd lost their money as well. AND DID NOT EVEN HAVE FRENCH SUNGLASSES TO SHOW FOR IT. *woe*

So what does that have to do with you, my doves?

Well, gmail and similar companies have ads which target you based on what your emails are about. Every time I check my gmail, the ads on the sides and top of my email are all about writing and publishing. The thing is... they are all scams. ALL. SCAMS.

I barely notice them. It doesn't register with me, because I am not their target audience. But you... you, my pretty and innocent little writer friends... you who are unpublished but want to be, who can't seem to get the attention of agents and editors, who are maybe even to scared or confused to know how to TRY to get that attention... YOU ARE THEIR TARGET.

And as much as I would like to give each and every one of you some French Sunglasses, I can't.

So here instead are some words of wisdom.

IF IT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
, it's a scam.

WRITING WELL IS HARD. PUBLISHING IS HARD. THERE IS NO SHORTCUT.
Writing takes practice. Lots of practice. Traditional publishing is very competitive, and generally quite time consuming. If somebody is offering you a shortcut, it's a scam.

MONEY FLOWS TO THE WRITER. Agents do NOT get paid until you do. Traditional publishers pay YOU, not vice-versa. While there are totally legit services you can hire to help you edit your book and the like, if somebody is offering to be your "agent" or "publisher" and they say you will be traditionally published, but they want you to write them a check, it's a scam.

"PUBLISH AMERICA" ARE SCAMSTERS.

WHEN IN DOUBT, LOOK IT UP ON PREDITORS & EDITORS. While the website is not infallible and there have been mistakes or instances of miscommunication on there, if an agency or publisher is marked "caution"... do yourself a favor and pay attention. And take a look at their warnings page, more ways to spot a scamster.

These scamsters are CRIMINALS, and they are able to operate because they are practiced and smooth, and because so many writers are so full of hopes, dreams and wishful thinking that they don't use their noodles. And then are often so humiliated at having been scammed, or so confused, that they don't or can't warn others.

If you get taken by one of these schmucks, you stand to lose much more than $15.99. A scam publisher can potentially take you for hundreds or thousands of dollars, can take the rights to your work, can take your words and your dreams and your dignity, and yes, even years of your life, because that's what you'll spend in trying to get your money back or living in regret.

I CAN'T FLY EVERYWHERE IN MY MAGIC PLANE AND FIX IT. PLEASE PROTECT YOURSELF.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

The Great Big TOUR POST

There are certain things that happen to some writers that other writers may look upon with envy. Being "sent on tour" for example, is not something that happens to every writer, and if you've never been sent on tour, you might be tempted to believe that it is all Ritz Suites and Stretch Limosines. (Hint: Ritz Crackers and Some Stranger's Buick le Sabre are a bit closer to the mark.)

While it is awesome to get to (hopefully) connect with readers and booksellers in far-flung towns, tours can also be really physically and mentally grueling. They can mean weeks of disrupted routine, rarely if ever seeing spouse or kids or pets, sleeping in a weirdly different bed every night, abrupt time-zone changes, strange itineraries that involve going through Chicago to get from Portland to Seattle, daily plane trips (with all the attendant drama there, we all know how efficient and fun plane travel has gotten!)... add to that the pressure of being, you know, put together, not a wreck, friendly and "ON" when you get wherever you are going (because nobody likes the complainy grump with bags under her eyes snapping at Iowa schoolchildren...) Yeah. I don't know. I personally wouldn't sign up for it, I value my sleep time and cozy bed too much.

ALL THAT SAID - sometimes genius writers have to crawl out from their genius-writer-holes, strap on their outgoing smile, and go where their publisher tells them.  One of my authors is headed out next month for almost two straight months of travel and appearances, and she had a slew of questions for me -- and I was hoping maybe some of my author-friends who have been in her shoes can advise?

This post can then serve as the go-to whenever one of my authors asks such questions in the future.

* I told her she should get bookmarks or buttons or similar to bring with and give to fans when they get their books signed.

* And a little book with which to put down the names of all the stores she visits and who the events coordinator was so that she can send thank you notes, and she can have an area in there where people can sign up for her mailing list if they want to, or give her their twitter-handle, so she can tweet them, etc etc.

* And her laptop of course, plus any special cords she might need if she will be doing powerpoint presentations at schools or anything.

Any other must-brings?  What about clothes?  Do you check baggage, or no?  How do you pack for two weeks solid with no home-time? Tips/Tricks?  (This is Sept/Oct, US/UK, school visits + book fairs + bookstores + possibly a couple of posh dinner type things.)

GIVE ME YOUR WISDOM!

thankyou.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Editorial Agent, or what?

I read this blog post from Authoress Anon with interest yesterday... particularly the comments section. It seems that everyone wants an "editorial agent" who is really hands-on. And most agents I know describe themselves as "editorial agents."

It made me think about myself -  am I an "editorial agent"?  I don't think I am. I am not an editor, I am a SELLER. I want editors to edit. But I do give advice, when needed. I certainly comment on most everything my clients give me, and suggest tweaks, etc. That is editorial...

Hm.  SO WHAT AM I?

The only analogy I can come up with is a real estate analogy.

If your manuscript is a house you are trying to sell, I am the agent, and editors are prospective buyers.

I will certainly give you advice on things to clean up to help me show it to its best advantage (repaint that garage door! bake some cookies!) I will "stage" the house. I will create an awesome listing that helps turn potential negatives into positives.

Cramped? No, "Cozy."

Sinkhole? Try "Seasonal pond."

No closets?  "Classic style."

Needs work?  "Great potential."

Falling apart? "Handyman's dream!"

I will take potential buyers on a tour and make them see what their lives could be like here. Sure it'll take a bit of elbow grease, but the attention they pay and the touches they give it are what will make a house a home. Won't they be the envy of the neighborhood when they show off this beauty?  Don't they love it? Now let's negotiate.

Yay!

However... I am not an architect. I am not a general contractor. I am not even a handyman. I didn't build the house, and I can't just go in and fix the house myself.

I can point out the problems that might keep you from selling it, but the house has to have good bones to begin with, and you have to do the hard work. It is YOUR house.

This analogy falls apart once the book is sold, because of course, it is STILL your book and you have to do the hard work. But at this point, you'll have not just one, but a group of experts to help you get it to that next level. Which, in this now completely broken analogy, would presumably be a spread in Better Homes and Gardens.

OK, OK, I'll shut up now. Anyway... I'll pose the same question to readers of this blog. What do you think? What kind of agent are YOU looking for? (Or if you are agented, what kind of agent do you have?)

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Notes from the Career Development Desk

Q: From what I've read, the best way for someone without professional editing/publishing experience to elbow their way into the publishing industry is an internships. All but a few internships are unpaid. Nearly all publishing internships are based in the northern/northeastern states. Of those, most are in New York. Assuming those very general assumptions are correct, here's my question...

What's a broke Southerner to do? Unpaid internships work for those with a nest egg, I suppose, but New York is an expensive place that's even pricier when one factors in relocation.
I know this can't be right, but by all appearances, the deck seems to be rigged in favor of New York natives or people wealthy enough to move and live on the pay of a part-time job (assuming they can find one) while interning. Is there something I'm missing? Something that exists that hasn't been said that changes the above set of assumptions?
It is very generous of you to imagine that "this can't be right."  In fact, you are right. I'd say the deck is rigged toward a) the wealthy, b) NY natives, or c) the very ambitious, who are willing and able to happily live on a tight budget.

Publishing jobs are very often in NYC or other major cities, and even once you have a real job as an editor, you will in general be paid VERY POORLY. I cannot stress enough that these are not jobs you take because you are money-hungry. Prestige? Sure. Snob appeal? Totally. But 'easy way to pay rent'... not-so-much. I am not saying you have to be a trust-fund baby - I'm saying, you have to prepare to be stone broke for a while.

Agents, as it happens, almost universally make zero (0) dollars when they start, and sometimes for a really long time. When I started at my agency, my boss told me in no uncertain terms that I was unlikely to see money before a year, and unlikely to be able to live off my earnings for five years. I was very lucky and started selling right away... but she still wasn't TOO far off.  This is why many agents are: a) independently wealthy/from wealthy families, b) married, (and/or) c) have a second job/work as an assistant when they are new.

Editorial is slightly different as you'll at least get some sort of paycheck, but, assuming you are coming in with no experience, you'll still have to slog for a long while as an intern or lowly assistant, then slightly less lowly assistant, before you actually become an editor. And even when you are an editor, you aren't going to be pulling in huge dollars. Again, this is a job you take for the love, not for the money.

And it's a part of the reason publishing has a long history of being called things like a "gentleman's business," and why you do find a relatively high percentage of over-educated, privileged white folk in the halls of publishing. (I am not excluding myself from this description.)

Of course this means that, gatekeeper-wise, there can sometimes seem to be a dearth of unique perspectives and world-views. It would be really great if there were more opportunities for people of color, people from different places and socioeconomic backgrounds, etc. All I can say is -- it's a known problem.  Many companies [claim to] strive to be pro-active about reaching out to different kinds of people. Most major publishers DO offer paid internship programs.  (Click here to find a listing of many internships - you'll see some paid, including Random House, Scholastic, Macmillan...) But of course, those internships are also likely to be very much sought after. And they mostly all in NYC, which, as you mention, is a bear of a place to live in while broke.

Here's what I would do, if I were a Southern college student who wanted to be an editor: I'd try to find an internship at a local small publishing house or literary agency. Yes, these places do exist, even in the south, depending on where you are.  I'd try to get a paying job at a bookstore (hopefully you have one near you!)  I'd work my butt off in school, and save as much money as possible until graduation. I'd make friends in NYC, or local friends who also have NY ambitions.

Then I'd probably do what generations of broke kids have done in NY, and that is couch-surf or live with a ton of roommates, hustle to apply to as many (paid) internships in NY and entry-level jobs as possible, and/or see if there are ways to get scholarships or financial aid for the Columbia Publishing Course or NYU Publishing Course. (I personally have no idea if these options are offered - but hey, you can ask!). Also, learn to budget if you don't know how already, and get to like the taste of rice and beans.

But maybe I myself am missing something. I know lots of editors and editorial assistants... maybe some of you can chime in with some advice for our new Southern friend?

**

ETA: So what, we can get one Southerner an internship or a job, possibly, maybe... How does any of this fix the BASELINE PROBLEM - lack of diversity in NYC publishing? Well, it doesn't. But if you would like to comment on that, I would love to hear it.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Awesome August Open Thread

I have three big posts going. One of them is an FAQ with a billion links, and it is taking forever. Two of them started as useful and ended up turning on me and becoming ranty -- need a bit of space before I go back and edit them for public consumption.

Soooo... I am starting the August open thread early. I will be away from my computer a lot the next couple of days, but I will hop on and answer periodically whenever I have the chance. So hit me with your publishing/agentish/booksellerish/etc questions. Or post pictures of cute animals, jokes, or whatever, that's fine too! ;-)

* Things I've answered a thousand times will go in the FAQ post.

* Things that require huge answers may get their own post.

* Everything else will be answered in the comments.

OK... GO!